Someday Syndrome

Looking for a Lab-Rat

Last week in a comment to my post about rethinking the blog, James from Men With Pens suggested that I get myself a lab-rat – I mean volunteer – who would be interested in sharing their own Someday Journey on an ongoing basis. Always willing to steal – I mean acknowledge – good ideas when I see them, I'm going to implement this when I redevelop the blog in the coming weeks.

I'm therefore looking for someone who wants to start their own journey to get rid of the word someday from their life. You don't need to want to go my extreme route of selling everything and moving to a different country. I just want someone who wants to make a conscious decision to pursue happiness and to share the journey with the world (the sharing can be anonymous).

Each week, I'll give the lab-rat – oops! volunteer – a Someday Exercise related to one of the three Someday variants (Someday My Ship Will Come In, I'll Get Around To It Someday, and I Might Need It Someday), then via email, you'll tell me how the exercise went and I'll comment on it in the blog.

If you're interested send me an email to the link on the left-hand side of the blog briefly describing your current situation and why you believe you're affected with Someday Syndrome.

Someday Lessons:

• It's not all about me.
• Learning happens best when we get multiple perspectives on a subject.

A Clean-Dishes Junkie

Monday night, I told Raul that I would wash the dishes in the morning before heading into Bilbao with Cate for her last day. He told me not to worry, just go enjoy myself, but I couldn't do it. The dishes hadn't been done for a day and a half (guests tend to play havoc with cleaning schedules). Plus, there were still things out of place from my birthday party on Saturday night. I couldn't leave the house without putting everything to rights.

For anyone who's known me for any period of time, your jaw must be on the floor. Alex needing to do dishes? Yup, that's right. I'm addicted to clean dishes.

Last month I made a conscious effort to create a lasting change in my life and we'll see how successful I was the next time I need to edit a large story. When I wasn't paying attention, however, I made another fundamental change in my behaviour without even knowing it.

Up to quite recently I hated doing dishes, but then I started to include it in my daily routine. Every day after lunch I wash the dishes. I use it to relax and gear myself for an afternoon of working. I've been doing this for a few months now and unwittingly I've created a clean-dishes habit.

Someday Lessons:

• We can create habits (good or bad) without meaning to, simply through repetition.
• Sometimes we only become aware of our habits when we take a break from them.

Playing Make-Believe

As a child I had romanticized dreams of being a butler. It seemed like such a cool job – until I learned that having a life of your own as a butler is difficult. Although I don't actively want to be one anymore, I still enjoy the idea of being in charge of making someone's life super smooth.

While in Madrid this past weekend, I indulged this fantasy with Raul. When packing for the trip on Thursday, we'd discussed his various outfits so I knew what he was going to wear for each stage of the weekend. Therefore whenever we stopped by our friends' apartment to change, I prepared his clothes for him, gathered together the accessories, laid out the towel and hinted at Raul when he needed to get ready.

And Raul triumphed in the role I'd cast him. Without knowing the game of pretend I was playing, he would thank me, but in an off-hand manner, as if it were my job, and not a favour. What might normally be a source of resentment became an essential part of the make-believe.

(Of course he knew how much I was doing for him, and gave me many un-butler like kisses in appreciation, but they existed outside the pretending.)

Someday Lessons:

• With a little bit of imagination, take a trip outside your normal life and explore something new.
• Use a different point of reference to view the people in your life – you'll learn a lot about them, and yourself.

Manifesto for World Domination

Thanks to Sandie at Geeked Off, I just discovered the Art of Nonconformity and read Chris' manifesto for world domination. In it he says:

True Success: Contrary to what you may hear from the latest self-help book, true success does not come from passive visualization or wishful thinking. It takes action, planning, and sacrifice. Like surfer-turned-songwriter Jack Johnson says in one of his coolest songs, “Don’t let your dreams be dreams.” Make them real.

This man is super cool (and not just because he quotes the sexy Jack Johnson). He knows what he's talking about. He has never lived a conventional life. He's always made conscious decisions about everything, and he's figured out how to mix selfish personal goals with unselfish giving back to the world.

I'm not going to quote more, although I could rave on and on about his easy-to-read writing style, his enthusiasm, his use of specific examples, the way he... oh wait, I said I wouldn't rave.

Just go visit his site and read the (free) manifesto – now. Seriously. Go.

Someday Lessons:

• When you find something you like, spread the news and let others share in the fun.
• Enthusiasm is contagious.

Crafting a New Reality

(Part 3 in my desire to make a profound and lasting change in my life)

I've mentioned before (a couple of times) how discussing my goals can derail achieving them. With my current goal – to pay more attention to details in my writing – I have another challenge. Unfortunately, this goal is a bit abstract. It's not like saying "I want to eat more vegetables." That one is measurable. A new reality for this goal might look like: "I will eat two servings of fruits or vegetables with each meal." I can picture that outcome; it's concrete.

But how will I know when I've achieved my current goal? Yesterday when describing the problem, I said that that I'm a big picture or small detail type, nowhere in between. The obvious goal would be finding the balance, of holding the big picture in my mind while examining the details, however I  have no idea how to measure that.

Not having ever experienced this state of balance before, I'm turning to you for help – how will I know I've achieved this goal when it's not directly measurable?

Someday Lessons:

• Admit when you don't something and ask for help.
• Trial and error sometimes is the only way to figure out a workable solution to a problem.

Using today's trial and error method. Here's a go at crafting a new reality for my goal...

Questioning My Methods

Yesterday I read on the Problogger site that Darren Rowse batch-processes everything, including pre-writing blog posts up to a week in advance and releases them day by day. I've done that when I've traveled but I've never considered it for regular daily posts. It would feel like I was lying to you or something. It might, however, work well for my current schedule, where sometimes I find myself too busy with other writing projects to put much effort into my daily blog posts.

I'm going to leave it up to you (having figured out how to insert polls into my posts).

Someday Lessons:

• Periodically question why and how you do things.
• "Because I've always done it this way" is never a valid answer to anything.

Reducing the Recycling

The amount of plastic we go through horrifies me. Roughly every other day I take a grocery bag of plastic containers, aluminum cans, styrofoam and plastic-coated deli paper down to the recycling bin.

I could choose to reduce my plastic consumption lower expenses sit higher on my list of priorities, so cutting out the plastic isn't going to happen. However, just to make sure I'm doing the best I can, here's an inventory of the usual suspects.

• Yogurt cups: Stores here only sell yogurt in single 125ml servings. Unless I'm willing to spend about six times more for natural yogurt in glass bottles, the single serving size is my only option.
• Water bottles: Water is drinkable here but it usually tastes of chlorine and Brita filters require putting the water in the fridge, which makes my teeth ache, so the alternative is bottled water.
• Meat styrofoam and plastic: I could stop going to the supermarket and buy my meat from butchers, but they use the plastic-coated deli-paper so it's not worth the extra money.
• Beer/soft-drink cans: we use these so rarely that cans make the most sense – we'd waste too much otherwise.
• Snack, bread and rice cake packaging: Unfortunately there's no other way to buy these things.

I'm doing well for the most part – there really isn't much I can do about my plastic use. I will look at alternatives to the 1.5L water bottles, maybe an attachment for the tap.

Someday Lessons:

• You can't make deliberate choices with examining your habits.
• Use irritation with something as a trigger to examine how it fits into your life.

Flaunting My Imperfections

I strive daily to destroy my ego, that part of me that whines when things don't go his way, that looks to push himself forward at every turn, and sings "lalalalalalala" when people offer criticism of any kind. You know what I'm talking about, I'm sure. We all have ego-issues.

When I approach a situation without ego, I don't get offended, I don't get stressed and I do end up feeling a lot more joy in my life. Everything goes much more smoothly and everybody's happy.

However, I've been doing something very British recently. I haven't been destroying my ego. I've been suppressing anger and I've paid pretty for it with a stomach full of acid. From here on in, therefore, I will continue with the ego-destruction for spiritual growth, but I'll start expressing anger, resentment, fear, and all those other "non-polite" emotions and comments when I feel them start to burn in my gut.

In fact, I'll revel in it and use the emotions to improve my writing. But of course I'll do it without being a bitch.

After all, there's no reason to be rude.

Someday Lessons:

• There's a big difference between letting anger go and repressing it.
• We are all imperfect people – it's okay to enjoy being petty sometimes.

Making Progress Happen

I don't like to work. Since the worsening of my acid reflux, my desire to work has totally died. I do, however, want the results of working. I want the finished products, which means I have to work, no matter how much I don't want to.

Fortunately I have a plan for when I'm in this "I don't want to work" mode. I work for 20 minutes then do something else for 10, like watch a bit of a TV show, or shower, or wash dishes. I try to mix up getting away from the computer in the non-working time so that I don't become a complete sloth.

My easily distracted self can cope with 20 minute work intervals and actually once I get into something I often work for 30 or 40 minutes without stopping.

Someday Lessons:

• Future-goals and now-desires might conflict. Decide which is more important and change the other.
• If you struggle staying focused, break the day into chunks and ignore everything but the chunk of the moment.

A Proud Parent

I know know what parents must feel like when they see their children grow. You think you've raised your kids a certain way but then suddenly they're independent being with their own opinions, influenced and shaped by things over which you have no control. You're full of pride, but you also feel a bit stunned – “How did that come from me?”

Today www.OrganizingConnection.com launched, which means the scripts I've been working on for the last two months have premiered as well. I've read enough scripts of TV shows and movies that I've seen to know that a script often has only a passing relationship with the final product. Fortunately this is not the case with Organizing Connection. Yes, after an edit by the site owners and a comedian, the filming, and the editing what people see differs from what I wrote, but I can see the original work their underlying the whole structure. It's especially exciting when I see my words coming out of an actor's mouth.

As for the site itself? Info-rich, gorgeous colours and super easy to navigate.

 

I encourage you all to visit the site, take a look around using the free membership they offer. Once you're hooked, I know you'll want to buy a subscription and continue to watch my scripts comes to life month after month.

Someday Lessons:

• When a strong creative team comes together, the results are spectacular.
• As always, remember to celebrate and share your successes.