Someday Syndrome

A Super Happy Weekend

On Saturday I woke up to an email from an online magazine. They wanted to publish a short story I'd submitted a couple of months ago. I then scared the heck out of Raul when I woke him up (at 7am) to give him the news.

A little calmer, I replied to the email and by the end of the day we'd agreed on edits and I had the contract Sunday. The story went up in the June issue of Reflection's Edge, making me a published author again. The last time I was published (a short story in 2001), I had hit a wall with my writing and took a three year break. This time, I'm ready to take advantage of the publication with more writing and more submissions, building on this success.

I first wrote the story last winter while I was in France, and have looked at it on and off, using the skills I've learned over the past year to make it a great story. It's nice to know that they hard work has paid off! It makes me want to write more.

Enjoy the story: The Soul of Sorcery.

Someday Lessons:

• Hard work does pay off.
• Use one success to spur you on to others.

Uninspiring Morning Thoughts

Last week I said that I would pay attention to what were my first thoughts each morning and see how they affected my day. Contrary to what I thought would happen, my initial thoughts weren't influenced by the decision to monitor them – they were as mundane and non-inspiring as anything (except for last Tuesday).

My morning thoughts tend to fall into one of three categories:

1. Hola mi amor – to Raul if he wakes me up.
2. I'm bursting! - when my bladder is super-full.
3. I'm so tired – when I haven't exercised the day before and therefore not slept well.

This week I'm going to monitor what I think about just before going to bed, since my father said that's when he thinks happy thoughts about breakfast the next morning. Maybe the thoughts will be more interesting or inspiring.

Someday Lessons:

• Experiments often don't turn out as we expect.
• Keep your mind open and accept the unexpected.

A Recipe for Meditation

I used to dread doing dishes. I would let them pile up for more than a week until I had nothing clean. Even then I would only wash what I needed and then put the dirty dishes back in the pile. Ask any of my old roommates and they'll answer quickly and vocally how bad I was a dishes.

Now, however, each day I look forward to washing the dishes. We don't use that many each day, so I wash everything once a day. I do so after lunch before I leave for teaching. While I wash the dishes, I don't think about anything at all. In other words, I meditate while my hands stay busy with the glasses, plates, cutlery and pots.

Someday Lessons:

• Something you hate doing can become something you love, simply by changing how you look at it.
• Meditation doesn't have to happen on a matter chanting Buddhist phrases. It can happen anywhere you want it to.

Mythic Weather

March is tricky beast. You never know what it will be. Astrologically it's a fish or ram, slippery or aggressive. Weather-wise it's supposed to be a lamb or a lion, mewling or roaring.

This year, it first appeared as a butterfly, all pretty breezes and bright colours. Then it revealed its true form yesterday. Across northern Spain, heavy snows fell for the first time this year. In San Sebastian, we had driving winds (I could barely walk against them!), bouts of painfully cold and needle-sharp rain, and equally painful and cold hail stones.

What type of animal that's supposed to be, I'm not sure. Perhaps that's what's meant by coming in as a lion, but to me a lion is thunderstorms and bright flashes of lightning. Yesterday was more like a harpy: complaining, pursuing and vengeful. I spent most of the day hiding in doors under the covers, hoping she wouldn't notice me.

I just hope she goes away soon and lets the butterflies return. Butterflies are infinitely more pleasant.

Someday Lessons:

• Don't let expectations fool you. Pay attention to the reality of things.
• How you choose to look at the world changes how you interact with it.

Breeding Familiarity

Yesterday I remembered that I live in a different country, speak a different language now, and have every intention of staying here a long time. I remembered that I'm living the life I want.

It made me quite giddy.

In the daily grind, it's easy to forget this joy. When I moved to San Sebastian, I worried about this blog. How was I going to keep it up when my life settled into normalcy, when life became routine?

But that's what most people live every day. Life isn't huge adventures, living out of a car or plunking yourself down in another country, another culture, without having to earn money. It's day to day details that dull joy and happiness.

So today, I want you to do something. I want you to appreciate your life. Even if you're not in a good place right now, find one thing that makes you happy and celebrate it. You don't need to shout it from the rooftops, but tell someone. Vocalize your happiness and make it real. Make it concrete.

Someday Lessons:

• Familiarity breeds not contempt but inattention. Stay aware of yourself.
• Familiarity also breeds comfort, often unhappy comfort. Don't let that be you.

What Aren't You Doing To Be Happy?

Yesterday my sister added a comment, talking about what she wanted to be happier. She also mentioned what she was doing about each thing to improve the situation.

I don't want my body to hurt, so I've changed my diet. I want to earn a living from writing fiction. For that I'm spending several hours a day writing, editing, learning techniques, and critiquing other people's work. Plus I want to be published, but I'm not really doing much about it.

Yes, I submitted my novel to an agent, but I have several short stories in my computer that I don't send out to magazines or contests. I say that I'm a writer and yet I don't actively pursue becoming a published writer.

Why not? Fear. Simply fear.

Most people have a fear of rejection. If we put ourselves out there, others will say no to us, so it's better to not do anything.

Having realized this about myself however, I can push myself past the fear and do what I need to.

Someday Lessons:

• To succeed ambition needs to be stronger than fear.
• We all want things but how many of us actively pursue them?

Spring Has Sprung

And I couldn't be happier...

Someday Lessons:

• Take time to enjoy the beauty around you.
• Celebrate things that make you happy.

Recognizing Privilege

Over the past two weeks, I think Spanish racism has served me well.

Many people told me horror stories about trying to get residency documents and working papers. Clerks were going to decide suddenly that I'd be missing something and have to try again. Or I'd wait for hours and then told to come back another day.

The reality couldn't have been more different.

Everyone was really helpful. I sailed through every appointment and I haven't had to wait for anything for longer than twenty minutes.

My being a white male with a British passport probably had a lot to do with this easy transition to Spanish residency. The English in Spain might be an annoyance to some, but to most others the English are infinitely preferable to the Romany, Moroccans, or Ecuadorians.

And unfortunately I'm far too much a realist to believe that everything was so easy solely because the Spanish government works more efficiently now.

Someday Lessons:

• Our level of privilege in society usually isn't a choice but it's important to be aware of it.
• Just because something is simple for you, don't assume everyone else will have an easy time.

Happy New Year

How fitting that New Year's Day falls on a Lazy Tuesday. We were out drinking and dancing until the not-so-wee hours of the morning.

Today is a day to do nothing but cuddle in bed with Raul.

Someday Lessons:

• Some culture (can't remember which) has the saying: How you start the year is how you continue it.
• Choose your activities today carefully.

Life is Coincidental

Friday was my last day of class and a day for sharing food during the break. I took the time Thursday night to bake a dessert. After class, I went into the instructor's lounge to pick up the serving dish. The instructors wished me luck with the job hunt and the apartment hunt.

One of the instructors then said that she was moving out of her flat. Did I want to see it? It's small, she told me, but very cheap. So Saturday Raul and I went to look at it. It is small, about 300sq ft. The living room/kitchen is 8'x 15' and the bedroom is  9'x9'. In other words, it's about 1/3 the size of my house in Toronto (which most people considered small and quaint).

We took it.

It's on the 6th floor without an elevator, and has no heat (but it won't take much to heat the rooms with space heaters given how small the space is). But it's very cheap, is a 15 minute walk downtown and is on the top floor with a humongous terrace. Most places like this (or smaller) within city limits are at least double the price, so we're very pleased.

The organizer in me is excited by the challenge to make the place livable and feel spacious. Between Christmas and New Year's Eve we're going to go to Bilbao to do some IKEA shopping.

If I hadn't baked, I wouldn't have talked to the instructor, and we wouldn't have acquired a place to live.

Someday Lessons:

• All your actions have consequences; be open to using the consequences to your benefit.
• Pay attention to life carefully, or you might miss something really important.