Someday Syndrome

Universe has last laugh

Well, I for one am happy that Alex has removed the Life Lessons.  That seriously takes the pressure off of me, because I have every intention on continuing to post writings to this blog, and coming up with lessons was quite challenging.  I mean, I write for fun and personal amusement.  Coming up with lessons was work!

Who knew when I started these postings just a mere six weeks ago, that I would go from being single and overwhelmed to ‘coupled up’ and content?  The Universe really does have a sense of humour.  I got fed up with online dating, went to remove my profile, and there was a smile from some guy whose by-line was ‘Nice guys really do exist’.   Damn, I thought, now I have to read his profile. Turns out it was well written, with no spelling or grammatical errors. Damn, I thought, now I have to respond. So I sent him an email. But I was still cranky so I told him he had to answer three questions. 1.  Do you really have time to date?  2.  Sex first or friends first? 3.  Are you really interested in me, or do you just want to talk about yourself?  That ought to scare him off, I thought.

Nope.  He replied with a superlative (his word) email, saying he liked my candour and intellect. Then he proceeded to answer my questions fully and well.  Mind you, he changed his response for question 2 to whether he believed in sex on the first date, which is not what I asked. Okay, so he is a guy.  Damn, I thought, now I have to chat with him.  Which I did….for over an hour….and then an hour the next day…and the next. Damn, I thought, now I have to meet him. Which I did.  And that was the beginning of the end. I went from deciding not to date, to head over heels for this man.

The really interesting thing is that early on in our chats, he asked me for my 5, 10 and 15 year plans for my life. Where did I see myself in those time frames? Doing what? And with whom?  I provided him with a superlative answer, if I do say so myself.  He said in his dating experience, he has never had a woman actually have an answer to those questions!  Ladies!  I have to ask, why not?  Are we so overwhelmed that we can’t think beyond tomorrow?  Is it fear of the unknown?  Are we too cynical to even bother creating a plan for ourselves?  I’m curious; please let me know your thoughts.  As for me, I am contentedly working on my first 5 year block, developing a solid relationship with a wonderful man.

Urban Panther

Alex the Spazz

For over twenty-five years, I've read and walked at the same time, with never a single reading accident.

Until today.

While walking along Bloor Street in Toronto, I was reading the latest Jasper Fforde novel, First Among Sequels. Ffordes's books are VERY engrossing and well, the inevitable finally happened.

I walked into a concrete bench. I fell straight forward, fortunately catching myself on my hands.

Of course, I jumped up, muttered "how embarrassing" then limped across the street.

A block later, barely able to walk, I stopped and rolled up my pant legs. Two huge scrapes and a couple of very large bumps. I'm going to have two wicked bruises!

I then got back on the horse and finished my walk back to my friend's apartment open book in hand.

Culture Shock (Part Two)

Toronto is no longer my home.

The streets are too wide, the buildings too square and English is the primary language spoken everywhere.

I don't like it.

That being said, I still love the sky line, the fact that from the windows of friends' apartments I see more trees than buildings and of course my friends and family.

For thirty-seven years Toronto was "my city." Now it's a place I come to visit. I'm having a bit of a hard time adjusting to that and kind of want to leave soon. Actually I want to leave now, go back to Spain (and yes, back to Raul).

But I'll stick it out, have a great time and savour the anticipation of returning to my new home.

P.S. Thanks Elizabeth for posting while I was gone. Feel free to continue adding your thoughts. I'm sure people want to hear more from you!

A New Direction

Changes underway! Both in look and in content. The blog is changing to reflect my writerly life and less of the organizing one.

I've also decided that I'm pretty much done with leading a navel-gazing life. The past year was great and I learned a lot about myself, but it's time to look up and out, not in. This means no more Someday Lessons. If you want to learn something, you'll have to pull it from the text yourself.

It also means shorter, less emphatically positive posts. Expect rawer soundbites that give you a glimpse into what I'm feeling and what's going on. And more bits of whatever I'm writing about fiction-wise.

Enjoy!
Alex

P.S. As the changes occur, let me know what you think. Feedback is always welcome.

A wise young woman

I just spent an incredible, relaxing weekend at Bill’s family’s cottage.  Swimming, reading, boating, touring, drinking, eating…way too much eating….and excellent conversations.  And what do I do at the end of the weekend? I panic.  That’s right, completely panic.  I started to play the What If game.

You know the game I’m talking about. I’m sure you’ve played it once or twice yourself. It starts with What if…and then you fill in some dire event.  In my case it was What if he decides he actually doesn’t like me?  What if he works through the few remaining issues he has with his life, and realizes I was just a distraction?  You get the idea. Basically, by the end of it all I forgot that I had a wonderful time with this amazing man, and I was throwing up protective walls left, right and centre.

And I made him talk about my walls, and his for that matter, all the way home.  And I am very good at talking. Very insightful, very contemplative, and isn’t it just grand that here is someone I can discuss all my fears and concerns with and not have him get angry or defensive? And it is grand, I am not making light of that at all!  But what I managed to do was completely negate the relaxing and calming effect of a weekend of cottaging with a sexy and caring man, and his generous family.

I was still unsettled when he left, and I decided to discuss my fears and concerns, again in great length, with one of my daughters.  She patiently waited while I wrote it all down in chat form.  At the end, I asked for her feedback. And here is her response:

Stop freakin’ out and have fun with the dude.

That was it. Stop freakin’ out and have fun with the dude.  And in that one succinct statement all my fears dissipated.  I laughed heartily at my own foolishness, and the future once again looked like a bright and fun place to go, and the past was one heck of weekend.

Elizabeth/Urban Panther

Life Lessons:
• You can’t control the future, only your enjoyment of the now
• And to paraphrase a very wise young woman, stop freakin’ out and have fun with it

Montreal..finally!

I have never been to Montreal. This fact seems to horrify everybody here in Ottawa that I have told.  “What?!  You’ve never been to Montreal?”  It’s said with the same horror as one might say “What?!  You’ve never brushed your teeth?”  I try to explain that I am from Toronto originally, which would have meant a 6 hour trip to go from one big city just to visit another big city. I then get “Oh, Toronto! Oh yes, no need to go anywhere else when one is from Toronto.”  Oddly, this always seems to be said with a bit of sneer on their faces. 

I have been in Ottawa for 9 years, so my Toronto excuse was getting pretty lame anyway. But, well, you know, I’ve been busy with kids and work.  And my ex’s idea of the Great Getaway was a weekend in the Hunting Camp with an outhouse that has seen much better days.  And I don’t capital ‘S’ Shop, so I really didn’t see the point.

Recently, I met a wonderful man, who, like everyone else, said “What?!  You’ve never been to Montreal?”  But this wonderful man, whom we’ll call Bill because that’s his name, followed up with “Well, it’s a beautiful summer weekend and I will take you to Montreal.”  And he did, and it was awesome.  I mean seriously, I can’t believe I’ve never been to Montreal!  We window shopped, with me coming to a halt in front of every shoe store, and got ribs at some famous rib place, and sat in a pub right in the middle of street party, then moved to another pub to have what turned out to be one too many tequilas, then Dunn’s for smoke meat sandwiches and cheesecake, and finally this morning fresh made and fire baked bagels.

My sincere apologies to all my fellow Torontonians, but Montreal totally rocks!  And how better to explore it than with a sexy man by your side.  There was a reason why I’ve never been to Montreal; I was waiting for the perfect tour guide.

Oh, and by the way, Bill can’t believe I’ve never been to Denver.  We are going there the end of September.

Elizabeth/Urban Panther

Life Lessons:
• There is a time and place for everything.  Okay, yes, I blatantly stole that one.
• After two shared pitchers of beer and a margarita, the second margarita is one tequila based drink too many.