Someday Syndrome

There is no Secret

I'm an existentialist. Nothing happens for a reason. We don't deserve anything that happens to us.

There is only choice: of action, of reaction and of attitude. There is no fast track to success. There is only vision, ambition and work.

Instant success does not exist, and when it seems to, if you look deeper, you'll either see many years of effort and clarity of purpose or a great deal of money supporting the success.

Someday Lessons:

• The only secret to success if consistent effort, long term ambition and clear vision.
• Your attitude towards life determines your likeliness of success.

Losing My Language

I speak English all day long. I read English. I write in English.

Raul speaks too quickly in Spanish and has troubles speaking slowly, so he speaks to me in English.

I insist, however, on speaking in Spanish to him, but I've noticed that I'm losing my comprehension skills, which were never that high to begin with. I can still speak it okay, but I don't hear enough Spanish to feel comfortable with it. I know that it takes a long time to understand a language, but I've made it harder for myself with all this English around me.

Raul's mother gave me some Spanish workbooks. I'm going to start reviewing them, especially listening to the CDs that accompany them. Hopefully that will stop some of the language erosion.

Someday Lessons:

• Skills are learned once – they need to be practiced.
• Life may try to interfere with goals – make sure that doesn't happen.

Freeing the Inner Diva

After all the recent travel, Raul and I decided to do nothing this weekend. Yesterday we didn't even get out of our pyjamas. It was a great day (then again, any day spent with Raul is a great one).

We cleaned a little, organized a little, cooked a lot and spent a several hours playing Singstar (karaoke for Play Station 2).

Now, I can't sing very well. I sing in the car and I sing with my sister songs that I've been singing since I was a little kid. But Singstar requires that you sing the RIGHT notes. Fortunately there are enough songs from the 80s and 90s that I know well, so I don't totally embarrass myself.

Ah, hell, who am I kidding – I completely and utterly embarrass myself. Raul almost always wins (yes it's competitive karaoke), but I don't care. It's great fun belting out tunes while standing in the living room in my pyjamas.

Because if I can't be foolish with Raul, when can I be?

Someday Lessons:

• Just because you're bad at something, it doesn't mean you can't do it anyway.
• This week make a commitment to do something foolish that would normally embarrass you.

Rules? What Rules?

I made up a cake recipe today.

I know, I'm not supposed to do that. Baking is a science, chemistry. Experimenting doesn't work.

And yes, the cake was too wet, so I guess it was a failure. But it tastes great. I think the sogginess comes from the spelt flour, which is wetter than wheat flour.

Actually, I should say that I made up a muffin recipe because the dry parts were more muffin-like in texture.

I'll try it again tomorrow. I'll get the balance right at some point.

Someday Lessons:

• Don't worry about doing something wrong. How else will you learn?
• Have confidence and have fun experimenting.

(recipe after the jump)

Alex the Ass

On Saturday night, we had people over for dinner and the combination of steak and wine did not sit well with me. I ended up napping before we went out to watch the wandering drummers for the San Sebastian festival.

I made the mistake of thinking it was warmer so wore only a light hoodie.

Once at our first destination, I found out the purpose of the night: to wander from bar to bar outside as we followed a group of men dressed in military garb or chef's outfits play the same five songs over and over.

I wasn't having any of it. I pronounced the whole thing ridiculous. I announced that Canadians don't have traditions like this then emotionally, intellectually and (later) physically removed myself from the event.

At 2am, cold, tired and with a very upset stomach, I went home.

In my self-absorbed pompous state, I completely forgot that to people from San Sebastian, this night is one of the most important of the year. It's the day they celebrate their city.

Normally I would have gotten right into it as the boyfriend of another friend did, but no. I decided to be a pretentious jerk and proceeded to offend everyone around me.

It took Raul two days to forgive me.

Someday Lessons:

• The fastest way to hurt someone is to stay inside your own opinion.
• A bad attitude makes for really bad experiences.

Interruption in Service

Sorry, no sparkling, interesting post today. An uncle of Raul passed away this weekend.

Someday Lesson:

• Life is not always happy.

Not Travel, Not Relaxing

Guess what? We´re not going anywhere this weekend.

That doesn´t mean, however, that we´re going to sit around the apartment doing nothing. This weekend is San Sebastian, meaning it´s the day of the city (January 20th) and so for 24 hours there will be drumming, drinking, dancing and general debauchery.

Should be fun!

Plus I also need to fit in some work, some writing, cleaning the house, having friends over for dinner, and prepping my classes for next week.

Someday Lessons:

• I´ll sleep when I´m dead.

Long Day

Today is my long day. I left the house at 7am and am back at 11pm. I did have two hours free this morning and another hour now, but overall it's a pretty crazy day.

In other words, my brain isn't functioning beyond: I am, you are, he/she/it is...

And I'm sure you don't want an English lesson.

Someday Lessons:

• I don't like this working-for-a-living thing.

Recognizing Privilege

Over the past two weeks, I think Spanish racism has served me well.

Many people told me horror stories about trying to get residency documents and working papers. Clerks were going to decide suddenly that I'd be missing something and have to try again. Or I'd wait for hours and then told to come back another day.

The reality couldn't have been more different.

Everyone was really helpful. I sailed through every appointment and I haven't had to wait for anything for longer than twenty minutes.

My being a white male with a British passport probably had a lot to do with this easy transition to Spanish residency. The English in Spain might be an annoyance to some, but to most others the English are infinitely preferable to the Romany, Moroccans, or Ecuadorians.

And unfortunately I'm far too much a realist to believe that everything was so easy solely because the Spanish government works more efficiently now.

Someday Lessons:

• Our level of privilege in society usually isn't a choice but it's important to be aware of it.
• Just because something is simple for you, don't assume everyone else will have an easy time.

The Stairs

So far I haven't been very good about doing the stairs thing. I usually go up and down the stairs four times a day, but not all at one time.

I have done one repeat a few times (404 steps in the 1010 goal), at the end of which I'm wiped. I could do a third, but my body whimpers and I give in.

Of course, now that I've written this, I'm immediately going to go do three trips.

Bye!

Someday Lessons:

• Mental and emotional inertia is one of the biggest blocks to action.
• I know I'm not the only one procrastinating about something. What aren't you doing?