Someday Syndrome

My Wonderfully Silly Man

I go to bed most nights laughing. It's Raul's fault. You see, I have this teddy bear (named Notae – he's from the former Canadian department store Eaton's) and he's the perfect size to slip under my shoulder when I'm sleeping on my stomach (he keeps the shoulder from hurting). In other words, yes, I still sleep with a stuffed animal.

Raul, however, thinks it's quite fun to move Notae about the room. For example, one night the bear was hanging upside down from the curtain rod. I asked Raul if Notae was being a gymast. “No,” Raul said, “he thinks he's a bat.” Last night Notae was sitting on his head, perched on the edge of the bookshelf: “he's doing yoga and meditating” Raul told me.

Someday Lessons:

• There's no better way to end the day than falling asleep with a smile on your face.
• Let yourself be silly – get creative with your surroundings.

Wandering Through the Past

I have another blog-life outside of this one. I use it to practice my Spanish. It's called Fotolog. Raul introduced it to me. Each day we post a photo and add text to explain or enhance the photo (My Flog, Raul's Flog)

Today, Raul talked about Bananarama which reminded me of their first success in Canada: Shy Boy. This song, along with Rough Trade's High School Confidential and The B-52s Rock Lobster, introduced me to New Wave.

As you can tell by the choice of songs that my introduction to New Wave came about at the same time as I started to realize that I was more than a bit different from the rest of my classmates - that perhaps I might be gay.

Many kids would have hid their love of these songs, but not me. I knew being a fan of Shy Boy would likely get me beaten up, but it never occurred to me to hide it. People's reactions were their problems. I knew grade school would end eventually and I'd find others who "liked the same music as me."

Thanks for reminding me of my youthful inner strength, Raul!

Someday Lessons:

• Look back through your life and celebrate the moments you showed more strength than you thought you had.
• What was one of your self-defining moments from childhood?

YouTube Videos

• Bananarama: Shy Boy
• Rough Trade: High School Confidential
• B-52s: Rock Lobster

Too Much of a Good thing

What's up with multiple blog posts in a single day? Two of my favourite organizing sites: Unclutterer and the Apartment Therapy group of blogs have decided that as many as three, four or five posts in a single day is a good thing.

I know that they have lots of information and that the site is designed to create income for the blog owners. Therefore lots of visitors who can see lots of different topics would seem like a good thing. However, I'm on the edge of no longer visiting the sites. I feel that I just don't have the time to scroll through the very visually busy site to read the various pieces for the day.

When Unclutterer started, I loved the simple, snappy posts. Now the articles are quite long, which means more work finding the latest entries. The Apartment Therapy group of sites have become visually cluttered as well as informationally cluttered, making me wonder if I should offer them my own organizing services.

It's all too bad really. I had been enjoying them so...

Someday Lessons:

• More of a good thing often creates a bad thing.
• Improvements without thought aren't improvements.

A Healthy Alex is a Happy Alex

After putting up with pain and the trials and tribulations of the sugar-detox, today I learned that I'm a healthy man.

In January I received a Spanish health card, so took advantage of that and booked myself a checkup. I got the full spectrum of bloodwork done and everything out normal. The only thing that I could improve is my good cholesterol which is on the low side of normal. That's easily remedied with some more exercise (which I've committed to anyway).

And now, because the results are so exciting, I'm going to share them:

• Total cholesterol: 148 mg/dL (anything under 200 is a good thing)
• Good cholesterol (HDL): 40.3 mg/dL (normal range for men is 40 to 50)
• Bad cholesterol (LDL): 96.5 mg/dL (under 100 is optimal)
• Triglycerides: 56 mg/dL (healthy is anything under 150)
• Blood glucose: 80 mg/dL (normal is between 70 and 110)*

Someday Lessons:

• Don't play the Someday Game with your health – schedule regular checkups.
• When you have good news, tell people.

* 110 in Spain but 150 according to several U.S. websites.

A Perfectionist Tigger

I used to think that I was a Christopher Robin, a kid with a grand imagination, but slightly outside of it all. Recently I've realized I'm much more of a Tigger. I bounce. I discover something new and say “ooh Tiggers like that!” and then dive right into without thinking it through or bothering to learn more. I'll learn as I go.

However, I'm a Tigger with perfectionist leanings. I want to do whatever I try perfectly. Doing things perfectly first try is very rare, next to impossible actually. So, when I discover I can't do whatever perfectly, I get bored and look for the next new thing that will make me bounce.

I'm at that point with my writing. Over the past two months I've been working hard on my writing skills. I'm improving greatly, but I've also realized how much further I have to go. This would be the point where Tigger would leave, where he'd say “Tiggers don't like writing” and find something new.

Fortunately I'm not fully Tigger. I can resist the temptation to bounce away from a little work. As much as I hate learning that I'm not the best natural writer in the world, I won't give up. I know that I'm a good writer, but like anything, real skill comes from practice.

Someday Lessons:

• Don't let your inner perfectionist stop you from pursuing your dreams.
• Equally, don't let your inner Tigger bounce you away from something you love just because it's not easy.

Monday Morning Blahs

After a fantastic early spring, normal weather for San Sebastian – rain, hail, and bone chilling cold – has returned. I went to bed last night nicely bundled up, but we didn't turn on the radiator. I ended up with a warm body and a cold head. By 3am, my sinuses started protesting and by 8am when I woke up, I was officially sick.

Raul made me breakfast and put the radiator right beside me on the sofa.

I'm going to take it easy today, and that includes no Someday Lessons. When we're sick, pampering is a good thing.

An (Almost) Middle-Aged Kid

Today we crossed the border into France. We went to Hendaye and walked along the cliffs above the Beach of the Two Twins. The wind picked up, promising horrific weather later, but at that moment, the cold air and the wind was invigorating.

I ran. I skipped. I did cartwheels. And I hugged Raul a lot.

Someday Lesson:

• Purposefully forget how old you are. Let yourself play like a kid.

Forced Organizing

There's nothing like having guests over to get one's space organized.

Today we have two friends from Madrid arriving. They are going to sleep in our bedroom and we're going to sleep at Raul's mother's house. This meant that we had to have the bedroom usable for others. Raul finally squeezed the rest of his clothes in our wardrobe (he went from a whole wall of storage space to sharing a four-door wardrobe and eight drawers).

The windows sparkle, the dresser and bedside table are clear of the usual bits of paper and other things that spontaneously appear in our pants pockets.

Now the challenge will be to keep it up!

Someday Lessons:

• Fixed deadlines are great motivators.
• It's not enough to organize – you have to maintain it.

A Someday Interview

My Blog Friend and former fellow Professional Organizers in Canada Board member, Janet Barclay of the blog From the Desk of Janet Barclay tagged me to write an interview with myself. So, here goes:

What is the story behind the name of your blog?

Most people suffer from Someday Syndrome in some form. It has three common ways of manifesting itself: I might need it someday, I'll get around to it someday and someday my ship will come in.

Why did you start blogging in the first place?

I'd been meaning to start a blog since 2004, but could never think of anything interesting to say. Then in 2006 when I decided to pursue my childhood dream of living in Europe and writing, I realized I finally had something to say. Surely I wasn't the only one who had been living with the idea that “someday” I would do something that I really loved doing instead of just going through life.

What is your best blogging experience?

Hearing that I've touched other people's lives. I often get comments or emails from people who tell me that they are on the way to getting rid of the word someday from their lives and that my blog has helped them focus on what they really want.

So far the worst experience?

Honestly I can't think of a single bad blog experience. Everyone has been super positive and super supportive.

What do you think will happen to your blog in 2008?

The blog started about with me making a grand gesture – living in Europe to write without working and without knowing where I'd end up. Now it's turning into a smaller journey, figuring out how to keep the sense of wonder and the constant pursuit for happiness in the face of day to day settled-down life.

Who I’m tagging:

Hmmm.. I'm always really bad at tagging people so I'm going to leave it open to anyone who wants to continue it. Just let me know you've done it – I want to read what you've said!

Someday Lessons:
None. Enjoy a lesson-free day today!

Resisting Raul

I've spent my life pretty much alone. Our family is loving but a bit disengaged (it's a British cultural thing). We live at a slight distance from the world. As a child, it was also for self-protection. My childhood friendships were about who would betray others first. My adult relationships have all been about remaining distant. One relationship was an attempt at engaging, but it turned out that his strong emotions were actually just another way of disengaging.

Raul's not like that, and that why I love him so much. However, it's hard to cope with sometimes. He asks that I live in the moment, that I consider him and that I get out of my own head more than once in a while.

That's a scary prospect and I'm totally resisting happiness because of decades of being disengaged (and self-protective). I'm not fearful, but being that vulnerable represents a huge shift in attitude, mentality and action. I'm not there yet.

I will do it, but I just need to resist the idea a little longer. For me, growth happens when I've fought against it for a while like a baby fights sleep.

Someday Lessons:

• External change is much easier to accomplish than internal change.
• Just because we know what needs to change, it doesn't mean we're capable of doing it.

Unhappy Monday

I woke up at 2am this morning stiff as a dead armadillo on the side of a Texas highway. So I got up, did some work, stretched a bit and went back to bed. I woke up again at 7:30 still feeling dead armadillo-like, but as I got moving the stiffness went away. My brain is still foggy, however.

This happens every time I don't get any exercise during the day. I spend so much of my time working out my brain (with my various writing projects), that I forget about my body. I go to bed brain-tired but body-awake. I then have a restless night of active dreams and end up feeling like I didn't get any sleep at all.

The answer is simple. I need to exercise every day. The implementation, however, isn't so simple. During the week, I'm busy with various projects and with household chores. On the weekend, I want to spend time with Raul, as we see each other for about two hours a day during the week. However, Raul's job is very physical and the idea of weekend exercise at the level I need to tire myself out is the last thing he thinks of as fun quality together-time.

I'm not quite sure of the answer, but I am sure I'll figure something out. There's only so many sleepless nights I can put up with.

Someday Lessons:

• Knowing what we need to do and actually doing it are very different things.
• Goals and desire often come into conflict with each other. Don't expect easy answers.

Surprise me! Make me laugh!

What makes something memorable? Surprise works. Often a clever surprise will make someone laugh and by combining those two you create longevity.

Just look at this Spanish commercial. The first time I saw it, I laughed for about five minutes. It's not just the surprise that made me laugh. It's the music too. Whenever I hear the music I start singing and dancing along with it.

All this and the commercial isn't even targeted at me!

Enjoy!

Someday Lessons:

• Laughter and surprise are memorable.
• When something makes you laugh, share it with others.

Information Fraud

So, last week my cousin in France sent me a message saying that I had a registered letter from the Spanish government. I assumed it was a confirmation of my destruction of Fleur, so told her to open it and if it was anything important to let me know. She had someone locally translate it (because of course it was in Spanish) and told me it was a fine for speeding.

I got her husband to scan and email the documents and it turned out not to be my car. I asked Raul to look it over and not only wasn't it my car, but someone had declared that I was the driver of their car when the photo radar snapped the picture. Me driving a Citroen at 4:45 in the morning? The only way you'd catch me driving at that hour would be if I wanted to fall asleep at the wheel. That's way too late (or early) for me to be functioning.

This morning Raul and I went to the local traffic office where they told us that we had to write a letter to Province of Bizkaia because that's where the fine originated. We had to ask for a copy of the original fine to figure out who the hijo de puta who named me was and we had to declare that I had no idea who the owner of this Citroen was.

One of the office workers suggested that I pay the fine anyway and then wait for a refund, but fortunately her coworker told us not to, which was good because there was no frickin' way that I would have paid that fine.

So now I'm at a loss for how this unknown person got ahold of my French driver's license information. Here in Spain, the only people who have that information are the police (from my accident at the beginning of February) and the free WIFI service at the local mall (I had to show ID and they used my info on my DL for the account information).

I guess it's now up to the owner of the car to prove that he or she knows me and that I was driving that night.

The whole fine thing doesn't bother, but the whole invasion of privacy does bother me. How the frick did this person get my info?

Someday Lessons:

• Even when you are careful with your private information, it can be used by others.
• It pisses me off that the actions of others can so easily disrupt my life.

First Impressions: Right and Wrong

Today I'm the featured Canadian Abroad in the Toronto Star.

I'd written this interview a while ago, so I'd forgotten what I'd said. It was interesting to go back and read it again.

What I wrote were my first impressions about Spain and coming from hugely multicultural Toronto, I found that Spain is still relatively monocultural. That first impression is still true.

However, my other first impression, that Spanish people don't work as much is completely wrong. Yes, they aren't as driven as most North Americans, but the hours they work are often longer and more tiring than most Canadians would put up with. I'm fortunate that I don't currently have to take part in that, as with my competitive North American nature, I'd kill myself with being the Best-Worker-Ever!!!

It's not that Spanish people don't work. They do, but it doesn't define them. I've yet to meet someone here who defines themselves by their occupation the way we North Americans do.

Someday Lessons:

• Don't get trapped by first impressions - be open to changing your opinion.
• Does what you do for a living define who you are?

Everything Changes

Last night I reconnected with the Internet from the sofa. Yes, after a very long wait, we have a connection to the wired world in our Txikihome. I no longer need to go down to an Internet café or to a bench at the mall to check emails and hold business meetings.

It also means, however, that I don't actually have to walk anywhere. I can just sit at home letting my middle-aged spread start a few years early. I figure that by the time I'm forty I can have a good computer hump and a few spare tires to replace the ones I lost when I gave away Fleur.

Okay, I'm so not letting that happen.

Raul pointed out this weekend that I'm a very active person mentally, but I need to do something with my body or my brain will explode from built up energy (or subject him to some fantastic soap opera style over the top dramatic diva fit).

So I have incorporated into my daily plan action breaks. It's not much. Getting up to doing laundry (hanging laundry over the interior courtyard balcony is a great stretch), going down to check the mail (and jogging up the 100 steps), etc. Every little bit counts and it gets me away from the computer for a few moments.

Someday Lessons:

• When one thing changes, it affects many others, so be aware of the ripples.
• How do you balance your mind/body workout needs?

And the Left Wins!

Last night the centre-left won the Spanish national elections.

This is the second mandate in a row for the PSOE party. Shortly after their last win, they introduced same-sex marriage laws, sliding them in just before Canada made theirs official. The PSOE has a history on focusing on the social needs of the country.

Living in right-wing Canada under Stephen Harper and Paul Martin (yes, to me the Liberals are centre-right) was difficult, where corporate tax cuts and screaming about scandals were more important than the welfare of the people.

Right now, I'm enjoying the best of both worlds. I've kept my Canadian address and business running, which means paying taxes in both countries. I don't mind. By staying connected to Canada, I get to keep my Canadian vote. The right (and responsibility) to vote is worth paying taxes in two countries.

Someday Lessons:

• Democracy means participation. What do you do to contribute to that?
• Making choices based on your principles will lead to long term happiness.

Why I Love My Boyfriend

Last night Raul said to me: “You always forget to put water in the dishes. It takes just a second and it makes washing the dishes later much easier.”* He was right, but I didn't say so. Instead I went on the defensive. I came up with excuses as to why I'd forgotten this time when the reality was yes, I had simply forgotten to do so. We worked it out, but only after experiencing irritation on both sides.

Then this morning Raul left his breakfast dishes sitting out, the milk and cereal drying in them. I sent him a very polite message saying that if he was going to ask something of me that he should be willing to do the same, or he'd really piss me off.

He texted me back right away saying: “You're totally right. I'm sorry.”**

No defensiveness, no excuses. A simple agreement and an apology.

I can learn a lot from this man.

Someday Lessons:

• When someone suggests something, don't dismiss it or get defensive. They might just be right.
• We all hate to be wrong, but life goes much more smoothly when we're big enough to admit to our faults.

* In Spanish.
** Also in Spanish.

Blatant Self-Promotion Day

Since the beginning of February, I've been working on a writing project for fellow organizers Elaine Shannon and Kim Eagles. They are in the process of building a social networking website designed around organizing. It's for those who don't have time or the resources to hire a Professional Organizer but want to get more out of life.

The site will include videos, worksheets, teleclasses, product and book recommendations, and discussion forums. Elaine and Kim hired me to co-write the scripts for the videos as well as develop the worksheets and website content.

This is the first time in my life that I'm getting paid to write and I couldn't be happier. Every day when I wake up, I'm eager to get writing. This eagerness spills over into my fiction writing and I've become a total writing machine.

The site, called The Organizing Connection, goes live April 2nd, but in the meantime, take a look at the teaser video, and tell me – is this you?

Someday Lessons:

• If you aren't your biggest fan, how can you expect others to be?
• When you do what you love, life becomes incredibly sweet.

Mythic Weather

March is tricky beast. You never know what it will be. Astrologically it's a fish or ram, slippery or aggressive. Weather-wise it's supposed to be a lamb or a lion, mewling or roaring.

This year, it first appeared as a butterfly, all pretty breezes and bright colours. Then it revealed its true form yesterday. Across northern Spain, heavy snows fell for the first time this year. In San Sebastian, we had driving winds (I could barely walk against them!), bouts of painfully cold and needle-sharp rain, and equally painful and cold hail stones.

What type of animal that's supposed to be, I'm not sure. Perhaps that's what's meant by coming in as a lion, but to me a lion is thunderstorms and bright flashes of lightning. Yesterday was more like a harpy: complaining, pursuing and vengeful. I spent most of the day hiding in doors under the covers, hoping she wouldn't notice me.

I just hope she goes away soon and lets the butterflies return. Butterflies are infinitely more pleasant.

Someday Lessons:

• Don't let expectations fool you. Pay attention to the reality of things.
• How you choose to look at the world changes how you interact with it.

I Wish I Could Vote

Today I venture somewhere I've never been in this blog – politics.

Spanish national elections happen this Sunday. Last night was the second televised debate between the leaders of the two largest parties. Now I'm itching to vote, but I can't. I'm not a Spanish national, so I'm not allowed to vote.

When (and who knows that will be) the Conservative government is brought down in Canada, I'll be able to vote long-distance. Unfortunately it seems like the Liberals under Dion have become total wimps, unwilling to do their job as Opposition and battle the Conservatives over their scary (ie right wing) agenda.

Far too many people don't vote and since right now I don't have the opportunity to do so, I'm telling everyone I know here that they should vote next Sunday. If I get an apathetic response, I keep at them. In fact, I'm about ready to take reluctant voters by the hand and lead them to the polling station.

Someday Lessons:

• Actions become much more important when you are denied the ability to do them.
• Take a moment to reflect on what really makes you passionate? What do you do to pass on that passion to others?

Diving in to Description

I bought a REALLY BIG book this weekend, The Glass Books of the Dream Eaters by G.W.Dahlquist. It's 753 pages long. On the back cover, The London Paper says: “Think of The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: its lurid plots, its murky pea-soupers. Now apply the production values of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, commission a re-write by the Marquis de Sade...”

Like Susanna Clarke's, Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, this book is written in a historical style, but has a modern sensibility. These books attract me with their ingenuity and their ability to interest me despite long descriptive passages. Usually I gloss over description in novels, focusing on the emotion and the plot. I tend to read stories for the story, not for the setting.

In Dahlquist's book, however, the setting is part of the story. And because the book has a modern sensibility, I don't venture into typical Victorian doldrums.

Along with Jasper Fforde and Susanna Clarke, Dahlquist has become one of my favourite new authors of the decade.

Someday Lessons:

• Sometimes times knowing why you enjoy something adds to the enjoyment.
• Just because you normally don't like something, that doesn't mean you never will – be open to retrying experiences.