Resisting the Peanut Butter

I've always believed that I lack willpower. I just can't make myself do things I don't want to nor NOT do things I do want to.

I have all the things I need for super success in whatever I do: ambition, drive, talent (modesty) - everything except willpower. I'm not as successful as I could be because I lack willpower. It's inherent and unchangeable.

(Un)fortunately that's a complete lie. How do I know that? Because I've discovered I do possess willpower over what I eat. With my severely limited diet, I could cheat easily. No one would know if I bought a donut or devoured a bag of potato chips. I simply choose not to because I remember the nine years of pain I used to live in and was beginning to feel again.

Yesterday for example I had a terrible craving for peanut butter and Ritz crackers, my mainstay childhood food. I could taste the smooth sweetness of the Kraft PB, the buttery saltiness of the Ritz. I felt the cracker snap and flake as my teeth bit into it, the peanut butter sticking my tongue to the roof of my mouth.

Later in the day I walked past a bakery and decided I would be willing trade my soul for a soft, chewy peanut butter cookie that would coat my mouth with floury goodness.

I managed to resist both, however, without much drama. I have no desire to live the rest of my life in pain, so denying myself sweets and processed foods for six months every five years is easily doable.

So yeah, I do have willpower - when I find something important enough. Does it mean then that I find very few things important? Or that I'm just lazy?

Someday Lessons:

• Willpower is not inherent - it's a choice, like almost everything else in life.
• Pain and discomfort often motivate change better than anything else.