It turns out I can't blame my politeness and the overly-garlicked food from the weekend. I have a stomach bug and therefore no interest whatsoever in posting today.
So go read my recently published website review in Vision magazine.
Someday Lessons:
Those of you who were here last summer will remember that my sister took over for me while I was on holiday. Now she has her own blog (sometimes shared with her boyfriend, man, spouse, significant other?).
Today she posted a great topic about marriage and about using life as a learning experience.
It's much better than anything I could come up with today, so go read it.
http://urbanpanther.blogspot.com/2008/04/mawage.html
Someday Lessons:
I don't like to work. Since the worsening of my acid reflux, my desire to work has totally died. I do, however, want the results of working. I want the finished products, which means I have to work, no matter how much I don't want to.
Fortunately I have a plan for when I'm in this "I don't want to work" mode. I work for 20 minutes then do something else for 10, like watch a bit of a TV show, or shower, or wash dishes. I try to mix up getting away from the computer in the non-working time so that I don't become a complete sloth.
My easily distracted self can cope with 20 minute work intervals and actually once I get into something I often work for 30 or 40 minutes without stopping.
Someday Lessons:
Last Tuesday at 7:55am work called, wondering why I wasn't there yet.
But I don't have class today, I thought. I only have classes Tuesday and Thursday mornings.
Oh. Oops!
I do this sort of thing all the time. My ability to remember tasks resembles a beagle's ability to not smell every tree it passes – non-existent. To solve this problem, I rely on lists, especially on daily to-do lists. On weekdays I even put breakfast and lunch on the list or I will reach leaving-for-work time without having eaten anything all day.
Since I no longer use Outlook (I'm a Gmail man) I had been creating these lists in OpenOffice Writer each night before going to bed. The problem with manual lists, though, is that if I forget to put something on this list, it doesn't get done – just like class last Tuesday.
I don't own a PDA and wouldn't use one if I did (I've tried, they just aren't me). However I love my laptop. It's an extension of my body, a backup of my data corrupting brain.
Last week, Unclutterer.com recommended an online to-do list that can link to Gmail. I signed up and fell in love (see Unclutterer's review here). I've uploaded all my tasks and included their weird repeating schedules. My productivity has soared, I'm a lot happier because I'm not forgetting things, and (the best part) Raul doesn't have to be my personal assistant any more. He was beginning to find my absentmindedness not so cute.
Someday Lessons:
For years I've told myself that I should eat more fresh vegetables and fewer fatty foods like potato chips, but I love fried food and never really got into lots of veggies.
Now I have no choice. On top of having problems with Candida-inducing foods, my stomach has decided that fatty foods cause acid reflux. For the next month the doctor has prescribed me pills to calm my stomach and told me to eat more cleanly. This means that on top of not eating sugar, alcohol, yeast, wheat, mushrooms and other such yummy foods, I also have to cut out non-lean meat, fried food and other high-fat foods. Also hot foods (temperature and spice) irritate my esophagus, so I need to eat my food at room temperature or cold.
What's left you ask?
I'm so going to get bored (and thin!). At least it's only for a month.
Someday Lessons:
I didn't feel like writing anything today, so I won't.
See you all tomorrow!
I used to dread doing dishes. I would let them pile up for more than a week until I had nothing clean. Even then I would only wash what I needed and then put the dirty dishes back in the pile. Ask any of my old roommates and they'll answer quickly and vocally how bad I was a dishes.
Now, however, each day I look forward to washing the dishes. We don't use that many each day, so I wash everything once a day. I do so after lunch before I leave for teaching. While I wash the dishes, I don't think about anything at all. In other words, I meditate while my hands stay busy with the glasses, plates, cutlery and pots.
Someday Lessons:
Since I'm already in the sharing mood (having shared with you my script writing), I thought I'd share some of my fiction writing.
My current WIP (that's Work In Progress) is a young adult novel where the main character chooses (for various reasons) to live alone on a tropical island. I've decided to actually trap him there. I used the following scene as a way to develop my descriptive skills.
Someday Lessons:
*****
By the time Mercaj got down to the beach, his little sailboat was deep in the water, tugging furiously to be free from its tether. Like all the trees on the island, the palm to which it was attached thrashed in the wind.
The winds were much stronger on the beach, however. Mercaj had more than just the deep soft sand under his feet to hinder his rescue of the boat. The wind picked up the sand and threw it at Mercaj with such force he was sure it was scrubbing off skin. Plus the wall of water the rain had turned into certainly didn't help.
As he approached the palm, he noticed that the tieline was sliding up and down the truck of the palm as the tree whipped around. Unripe coconuts littered the beach, unable to hold on under the onslaught.
Mercaj reached the rope after what felt like an eternity. He dug his heels into the sand, grasped the rope and ...
Back in January I mentioned a goal of being able to go down and up my the 100 stairs to my apartment five times without killing myself. I haven't yet reached that goal, but I now take the stairs two at a time (keeping my back straight) and I arrive at the top only mildly out of breath.
In the lesson for that post I said that you should talk to others about your goals to make them more concrete and to make you more accountable for them. Since then, I've decided that for me, talking about my goals has the opposite effect.
I have a grand imagination. When I talk about something, in my head I imagine doing it and succeeding at it (very good). Therefore in real life I don't need to actually do it. I've done it. I've felt the thrill of victory. Why go through the work to get there in reality? (not so good)
So from now on, I'll let you know what I was striving for once I've achieved it. Of course my mouth is so used to babbling, that I might slip up and Tiggerishly tell you things anyway. Please remind me of this post when I do.
Someday Lessons:
After putting up with pain and the trials and tribulations of the sugar-detox, today I learned that I'm a healthy man.
In January I received a Spanish health card, so took advantage of that and booked myself a checkup. I got the full spectrum of bloodwork done and everything out normal. The only thing that I could improve is my good cholesterol which is on the low side of normal. That's easily remedied with some more exercise (which I've committed to anyway).
And now, because the results are so exciting, I'm going to share them:
Someday Lessons:
* 110 in Spain but 150 according to several U.S. websites.
I used to think that I was a Christopher Robin, a kid with a grand imagination, but slightly outside of it all. Recently I've realized I'm much more of a Tigger. I bounce. I discover something new and say “ooh Tiggers like that!” and then dive right into without thinking it through or bothering to learn more. I'll learn as I go.
However, I'm a Tigger with perfectionist leanings. I want to do whatever I try perfectly. Doing things perfectly first try is very rare, next to impossible actually. So, when I discover I can't do whatever perfectly, I get bored and look for the next new thing that will make me bounce.
I'm at that point with my writing. Over the past two months I've been working hard on my writing skills. I'm improving greatly, but I've also realized how much further I have to go. This would be the point where Tigger would leave, where he'd say “Tiggers don't like writing” and find something new.
Fortunately I'm not fully Tigger. I can resist the temptation to bounce away from a little work. As much as I hate learning that I'm not the best natural writer in the world, I won't give up. I know that I'm a good writer, but like anything, real skill comes from practice.
Someday Lessons:
There's nothing like having guests over to get one's space organized.
Today we have two friends from Madrid arriving. They are going to sleep in our bedroom and we're going to sleep at Raul's mother's house. This meant that we had to have the bedroom usable for others. Raul finally squeezed the rest of his clothes in our wardrobe (he went from a whole wall of storage space to sharing a four-door wardrobe and eight drawers).
The windows sparkle, the dresser and bedside table are clear of the usual bits of paper and other things that spontaneously appear in our pants pockets.
Now the challenge will be to keep it up!
Someday Lessons:
I've spent my life pretty much alone. Our family is loving but a bit disengaged (it's a British cultural thing). We live at a slight distance from the world. As a child, it was also for self-protection. My childhood friendships were about who would betray others first. My adult relationships have all been about remaining distant. One relationship was an attempt at engaging, but it turned out that his strong emotions were actually just another way of disengaging.
Raul's not like that, and that why I love him so much. However, it's hard to cope with sometimes. He asks that I live in the moment, that I consider him and that I get out of my own head more than once in a while.
That's a scary prospect and I'm totally resisting happiness because of decades of being disengaged (and self-protective). I'm not fearful, but being that vulnerable represents a huge shift in attitude, mentality and action. I'm not there yet.
I will do it, but I just need to resist the idea a little longer. For me, growth happens when I've fought against it for a while like a baby fights sleep.
Someday Lessons:
I woke up at 2am this morning stiff as a dead armadillo on the side of a Texas highway. So I got up, did some work, stretched a bit and went back to bed. I woke up again at 7:30 still feeling dead armadillo-like, but as I got moving the stiffness went away. My brain is still foggy, however.
This happens every time I don't get any exercise during the day. I spend so much of my time working out my brain (with my various writing projects), that I forget about my body. I go to bed brain-tired but body-awake. I then have a restless night of active dreams and end up feeling like I didn't get any sleep at all.
The answer is simple. I need to exercise every day. The implementation, however, isn't so simple. During the week, I'm busy with various projects and with household chores. On the weekend, I want to spend time with Raul, as we see each other for about two hours a day during the week. However, Raul's job is very physical and the idea of weekend exercise at the level I need to tire myself out is the last thing he thinks of as fun quality together-time.
I'm not quite sure of the answer, but I am sure I'll figure something out. There's only so many sleepless nights I can put up with.
Someday Lessons:
Today I venture somewhere I've never been in this blog – politics.
Spanish national elections happen this Sunday. Last night was the second televised debate between the leaders of the two largest parties. Now I'm itching to vote, but I can't. I'm not a Spanish national, so I'm not allowed to vote.
When (and who knows that will be) the Conservative government is brought down in Canada, I'll be able to vote long-distance. Unfortunately it seems like the Liberals under Dion have become total wimps, unwilling to do their job as Opposition and battle the Conservatives over their scary (ie right wing) agenda.
Far too many people don't vote and since right now I don't have the opportunity to do so, I'm telling everyone I know here that they should vote next Sunday. If I get an apathetic response, I keep at them. In fact, I'm about ready to take reluctant voters by the hand and lead them to the polling station.
Someday Lessons:
In 1985, Ursula K. LeGuin wrote a story called She Unnames Them. It's about Eve (and Adam) and the naming of things. It's one of my favourite short stories. When we name something we define it. We say what it is and what it isn't. We also define how we act and react around the thing we've named
Take today's theme. I never know what to say on Lazy Tuesday. I procrastinate about what I'm going to write. You'll notice that many times I've used the theme as an excuse not to write anything (here, here, here and here).
I had meant the theme to represent the procrastination part of this blog. It hasn't turned out that way though. The meaning of the name has mutated and has come to represent something else altogether. I won't change the name--I quite like it--but I will have to be more determined to write about procrastination and to not procrastinate about writing.
Someday Lessons:
Be very careful about word choice. It can really affect you attitude and actions.
Changing the name of something changes its meaning and changes your approach to it.
Yesterday my sister added a comment, talking about what she wanted to be happier. She also mentioned what she was doing about each thing to improve the situation.
I don't want my body to hurt, so I've changed my diet. I want to earn a living from writing fiction. For that I'm spending several hours a day writing, editing, learning techniques, and critiquing other people's work. Plus I want to be published, but I'm not really doing much about it.
Yes, I submitted my novel to an agent, but I have several short stories in my computer that I don't send out to magazines or contests. I say that I'm a writer and yet I don't actively pursue becoming a published writer.
Why not? Fear. Simply fear.
Most people have a fear of rejection. If we put ourselves out there, others will say no to us, so it's better to not do anything.
Having realized this about myself however, I can push myself past the fear and do what I need to.
Someday Lessons:
Last fall, an agent asked for a rewrite of my novel. I agreed that the rewrite would improve the novel, so I went forward with it.
Rewrite done, I resubmitted it last month. And today, the agent rejected it.
She liked what I'd done, but said the novel now needs a really good edit which her agency is too busy to help with. In my rush to get the novel back to her, I ignored my intuition. I knew the novel still needed work, but I didn't want her to wait too long and maybe forget about me.
Fortunately, I'm a good enough writer that the agent likes the story and wants another resubmit when the edits are done.
Someday Lessons:
One of the writing sites that I belong to (FM Writers) is celebrating its 10th anniversary. It's a primarily fantasy writer site and so as part of its celebrations the moderators have announced a shared world project. Shared worlds were very popular in the late 80s early 90s with Thieves' World and Liavek.
Someone else created the first draft of the map for this shared world and I spent this morning reading in detail the “encyclopedia” for the world. I then edited the map based on what I'd read.
I have always wanted to contribute to a project like this and so I was thrilled when they announced it. One of the best parts of this project is that it doesn't matter if it gets published. For me, It's an exercise in expanding my writing and collaboration skills.
Plus it's a whole lot of fun!
Someday Lessons:
I speak English all day long. I read English. I write in English.
Raul speaks too quickly in Spanish and has troubles speaking slowly, so he speaks to me in English.
I insist, however, on speaking in Spanish to him, but I've noticed that I'm losing my comprehension skills, which were never that high to begin with. I can still speak it okay, but I don't hear enough Spanish to feel comfortable with it. I know that it takes a long time to understand a language, but I've made it harder for myself with all this English around me.
Raul's mother gave me some Spanish workbooks. I'm going to start reviewing them, especially listening to the CDs that accompany them. Hopefully that will stop some of the language erosion.
Someday Lessons:
Today is my long day. I left the house at 7am and am back at 11pm. I did have two hours free this morning and another hour now, but overall it's a pretty crazy day.
In other words, my brain isn't functioning beyond: I am, you are, he/she/it is...
And I'm sure you don't want an English lesson.
Someday Lessons:
So far I haven't been very good about doing the stairs thing. I usually go up and down the stairs four times a day, but not all at one time.
I have done one repeat a few times (404 steps in the 1010 goal), at the end of which I'm wiped. I could do a third, but my body whimpers and I give in.
Of course, now that I've written this, I'm immediately going to go do three trips.
Bye!
Someday Lessons:
I have a plan. It's not a New Year's Resolution. My plan just happens to coincide with the new year.
You can probably guess what the plan is. It's something that most health clubs rely on.
Yes, it's a plan to lose weight.
This spring, I was slimmer and fitter than I'd been since a teenager. I liked the feeling. Then I visited Canada where I ate out almost every night and continually made bad food choices. Then upon returning to Spain I used the excuse of temporary living arrangements to avoid eating well and exercising.
But now I have no excuse to remain a size I'm not comfortable with.
The diet part will be easy. Eat potato chips very infrequently and focus on eating at least five servings of fruits and vegetables a day. When I do that everything else falls into place.
And now, with our txikihome, exercise will also be easy. We live on the 7th floor (or 6th floor for most Europeans) without an elevator. There are 101 steps up to our flat. Climbing them is tiring. My heart races and my lungs hurt.
My goal is to be able to go down and up the 101 steps five times briskly without feeling like I'm going to die.
I'll let you know how well I stick to this 1010 stair exercise plan.
Someday Lessons:
A few weeks ago I decided that patience was a matter of living in the present, not the future. Last week I discovered there's another form of patience that I was not understanding.
Our recent IKEA purchases included some LACK floating shelves. You know the ones. They look great, but they are a real pain in the ass to mount.
Eager to prove myself a handy guy to Raul, I dove right in, measuring, drilling, being a total do-it-yourselfer. You can guess what happened. My measurements were off, the holes weren't deep enough and we destroyed five screws (and gave ourselves blisters) getting the shelf mount back off the wall to correct the problem.
Can you also guess the lesson here? What are the key words?
You got it: “eager to prove myself.”
I didn't take the time to prepare the work area or to ask for help. I didn't want to appear like I couldn't do something. Of course, by being impatient, I did exactly what I didn't want to do.
Someday Lessons:
Again, I'm stuck with nothing to say on Lazy Tuesday. Perhaps the name was a bad choice.
Today is not a lazy day. The apartment is screaming for a paint-job (currently it's pink and yellow). Later, we are taking Raul's mother Xmas dinner shopping, and before the apartment can be painted, it needs to be scrubbed down.
And I've nothing more to tell you.
Someday Lessons:
P.S. Pics of the apartment can be found at http://www.fotolog.com/jonszi/23947274
I've fallen into my old habit of living in the future.
When Raul and I get an apartment, I'll eat better and exercise more. When I'm done classes, I'll write more. When I get a job, I'll feel more stable.
I've also been living in fear, which is bad.
What if things with Raul don't work? What if I can't find a job? What if we can't find an apartment?
I don't, however, have any negative thoughts about my novel. I know my book will get published because it's a damn good read.
So why am I worried about everything else? I don't question Raul's love, but I worry he's going to leave. I don't question my ability to work, so why do I worry about finding a job? And Raul and I have several options for living until we get an apartment, so why does that stress me out?
Because I'm living in the future. I've created a dream of a perfect future. But life isn't perfect, so I live in fear of imperfection and make myself sick with preoccupation.
Time to change. Time to remember that life is to be lived now.
I was thinking of writing a set of resolutions, but that's still living in the future. Instead, I'll return to living in the now where everything is possible and actions happen today, not tomorrow.
Someday Lessons:
I´m sick today and feeling too lazy to write. So I´ve gone back into the archives and pulled something from December 2006.
*****
Cate and I share a favourite pastime: walking, so we've spent most of our time here in Paris touring the city by foot. Yesterday was an epic day with a total of seven hours of perambulation.
And of course we talk the entire time we walk. During one of the gazillion conversations, Cate said:
I view life as an improv game. You never block.
There are three rules to improv: you never answer a question with a single word or a "no"; you never shut down someone else's idea; and you should be as creative as possible with your responses.
What a great way to live!
I've decided to adopt this attitude for myself.
Plus it's very practical. For example, last night we turned a simple trip to a restaurant into an epic quest for food. You see, non-tourist restaurants aren't open on Christmas night in Paris. We wandered along dark, deserted streets, getting progressively colder and hungrier. But we were more amused than anything else. Each closed restaurant upped the challenge. It didn't stop us, didn't make us give up and just eat at McDonald's.
It made us say: "We will find good food!"
When we did (and wow was it good!); our sense of accomplishment and therefore our appreciation of the meal were as large as our combined appetites!
Someday Lessons:
Today I was going to write about school and how I'm not doing my homework because I'm bored. I was going to talk about the routine and how it's been difficult given that I've lived since mid-2003 routine-free. But each time I started to write something I got really bored and erased it all.
In fact the topic bores me so much, I'm ending the post here.
Someday Lessons:
Hola everyone! Yes, I am still alive. I just haven´t been posting very often.
You see, life has settled into a routine and I have nothing exciting to write about.
That is such a total excuse! I´ve just been lazy about my writing. When I was in France last year, I would pick a topic each day from a list and then write about it. I didn´t give myself a choice. I HAD to write.
Now I write when I feel inspired.
That doesn´t work.
So, here is a promise to you. Once I have an apartment and Internet access from more than an hour a day, I will increase my postings to at least once every two days. Until then, I´m going to stick with being lazy and posting when I feel like it.
It´s my blog and I can ignore it if I want to...
Someday Lessons:
My writing career took a step forward yesterday. After reading the first fifty pages of my novel, a literary agent asked for a major rewrite.
My intuition said: “I told you so!”
The agent said that the novel isn't ChickLit. It's Young Adult. The details, however, aren't YA. Everyone is far too old and has far too much sex.
I knew this. I knew that the novel would work better as YA. My next novel will be YA. I prefer this genre (even when reading).
So, if I knew this already, why hadn't I made the change before sending it off to agents?
Because I was procrastinating. A rewrite of this size is a huge amount of work. I had hoped that someone would like it as is. But I forgot that readers aren't stupid. If I had noticed the problem, then of course others would.
On the plus side, the rewrite will make the novel stronger as I need to make conscious decisions about every single detail in the book.
Someday Lessons:
Yesterday I got thrown into the fire of Spanish culture - a Spanish wedding. And I survived!
Actually, I did better than survive. I managed to maintain full (well semi-full) conversations! The fire (with a few glasses of wine) stewed my brain sufficiently to cook up a communication stew (okay enough with the metaphor).
There were a few guests at the wedding who could speak English, but I didn´t take advantage of them. I stayed in Spanish-mode despite being overwhelmed a few times (once nearly to point of tears).
If I´m going to live here, I need to start thinking in Spanish, and that´s not going to happen if I speak English every chance I get.
That doesn´t stop me, of course, from getting Raúl to speak to me in English. Without at least some time in my native tongue, I´d have a total breakdown.
Today I pick up the keys to the apartment my Spanish school has given me. All morning I´ve just wanted to get it done.
However, I´m not alone anymore. I´m with Raúl. He wants to help - which is awesome - but I´m not so good at accepting help. I feel like I´m cheating, like I´ve looked at someone else´s paper during an exam.
So, while Raúl makes me lunch, organizes a cell phone for me and figures out the best route between his house, the school and my place, I want to run away, get everything done, then call him, all relaxed and in control.
But I won´t. Instead I´ll accept his help with gratitude. I´ll also tell my control freak to chill out, man.
Yesterday I wrote for the first time in months. I also spent a few hours researching short story markets and even submitted something to a couple of them.
Why did all this happen? Because I've been in one place for a week. I have also been riding my bike everywhere – between one to four hours a day, every day.
I've called myself a Change Junkie in the past but I've been ODing on change while I've been here. A little bit of routine and stability provides some much needed balance.
Yes, Slightly Obnoxious Opinion Week only had six days because yesterday I couldn't be bothered to finish the post.
I've been eating and drinking too much and sleeping too little. In other words, I've been having a great vacation, but it's taking its toll. I'm exhausted, have constant wicked heartburn and am lethargic as anything.
I decided to try to write today but didn't get past four sentences before I stopped and had a nap.
Only 20 more days until I'm back in Spain and 22 until I start my Spanish course, thereby settling into a routine again. I have never so anticipated living in a routine before!
Of course I could have made better choices here in terms of eating, drinking and sleeping - but this way I get to feel like absolute crap before I pull myself out of this unhealthy slide.
It'll just make returning to Spain feel all the better.
Statement Five: Stop talking about it and start doing it. Yes, I mean you.
Good comments so far, but I want to see more! Maybe I'll have to get more obnoxious.
Statement Two: What most people call "personal memoribilia" in reality is for the most part just useless junk they haven't gotten rid of.
Instead of sending out query letters to agents today, I'm going to treat you to the first bit of my book, called An Extraordinarily Ordinary Life. It's fictional blog. (The full excerpt available after the jump).
Enjoy!
Welcome to the Boring Blog
Posted: Monday September 29, 2003 at 6:45pmHello. My name is Gail McCain. I'm 34 years old. My life is boring. I'm boring.
What I'm about to tell you isn't boring, however. It is the first exciting thing to happen to me in years, maybe ever. And, if Amanda is to be believed, it won't be the last.
On my home way from work this evening, just after I had just parked my car, this cute little beige field bunny hopped towards me. I was just registering the weirdness of a rabbit in an oil-stained underground parking garage in uptown Toronto when it turned into a gorgeous six-foot tall blonde woman. I've always considered myself totally straight, but even I couldn't help getting lost in her cleavage. Think a real life blonde Jessica Rabbit. No pun intended.
"Hi Gail," she said.
I had my evening all planned. A shower, some primping, and then dancing.
Didn't happen.
I'm now trapped in a friend's condo until tomorrow evening. If I leave, I can't get back into the building (it's a key thing).
As usual, I refused to be negative about the situation.
I decided instead to prep my agent search. I added some necessary words to the beginning of my book, crafted a (hopefully!) kick-ass query letter and sent it off to my sister-in-law and her work-in-publishing mother and sister for comments.
And then as a reward I indulged in my Facebook addiction...
I have never been to Montreal. This fact seems to horrify everybody here in Ottawa that I have told. “What?! You’ve never been to Montreal?” It’s said with the same horror as one might say “What?! You’ve never brushed your teeth?” I try to explain that I am from Toronto originally, which would have meant a 6 hour trip to go from one big city just to visit another big city. I then get “Oh, Toronto! Oh yes, no need to go anywhere else when one is from Toronto.” Oddly, this always seems to be said with a bit of sneer on their faces.
I have been in Ottawa for 9 years, so my Toronto excuse was getting pretty lame anyway. But, well, you know, I’ve been busy with kids and work. And my ex’s idea of the Great Getaway was a weekend in the Hunting Camp with an outhouse that has seen much better days. And I don’t capital ‘S’ Shop, so I really didn’t see the point.
Recently, I met a wonderful man, who, like everyone else, said “What?! You’ve never been to Montreal?” But this wonderful man, whom we’ll call Bill because that’s his name, followed up with “Well, it’s a beautiful summer weekend and I will take you to Montreal.” And he did, and it was awesome. I mean seriously, I can’t believe I’ve never been to Montreal! We window shopped, with me coming to a halt in front of every shoe store, and got ribs at some famous rib place, and sat in a pub right in the middle of street party, then moved to another pub to have what turned out to be one too many tequilas, then Dunn’s for smoke meat sandwiches and cheesecake, and finally this morning fresh made and fire baked bagels.
My sincere apologies to all my fellow Torontonians, but Montreal totally rocks! And how better to explore it than with a sexy man by your side. There was a reason why I’ve never been to Montreal; I was waiting for the perfect tour guide.
Oh, and by the way, Bill can’t believe I’ve never been to Denver. We are going there the end of September.
Elizabeth/Urban Panther
Life Lessons:
• There is a time and place for everything. Okay, yes, I blatantly stole that one.
• After two shared pitchers of beer and a margarita, the second margarita is one tequila based drink too many.
Hello, I am Alex’s sister, Elizabeth, and I have been granted access to Alex’s blog. Mwahaha! When Alex asked me if I would like to be a guest blogger while he was on vacation my very first thought was “Sure!” Well, no actually my very first thought was “Vacation? You’ve been living in Europe for almost a year?!” But, I did realize how ridiculous that thought was, because he wasn’t vacationing, he was writing a book, a fact I am immensely proud of him for. So, my second thought was “Sure!”
Then Alex explained what needed to happen. Write 150 to 450 words. Yup, I can do that. I am rarely at a loss for words and I do write my own stories for distribution to family and friends. It has to be under one of three categories. Oh, um, yes, okay. And you have to come up with life lessons. Ah, yes, life lessons. Gee, this is starting to sound like work. And then you post it the website. Post? Website? Sounds technical. I am so not technical. Okay, sure, I work in IT, but why do you think I became a manager? Sort of like that saying about teachers, those that can, code, those that can’t, manage.
And so I put off finding out anymore, until Alex nailed me. “Look, I’m leaving soon. I have to make sure you are good with this blogging.” So, I met him online, he walked me through it again, and I promised to get right on it. That was several days ago, and one of the instructions for posting blogs was to go no longer than three days. He posted on Tuesday, which means I am now officially late. And I conveniently chose to sit down and write this knowing I had to leave to meet someone, which meant I couldn’t possibly deal with the actual posting process right away.
But you know what? Now that I’ve started, I’m quite excited about the whole process. As I knew I would be. Wait! Have you picked up on some obvious family traits here? I’m awfully sure Alex has written a similar blog. Of course, my take on it is much more entertaining, because I am pretty sure I am the more talented sibling.
Happy to meet you all, and see you in three days!
Life Lessons:
• Discipline can be fun, especially when it involves taking over your baby brother’s website
• Sometimes things are even more exciting after a period of good old fashioned procrastination
My novel is FINISHED! Eight months after I started it on a whim, I have finished writing and editing it. I'm sure at some point I will have to go back and make more edits for an agent and for the publisher, but I believe it is now ready for the world to see.
Now to get started on the next one...
Someday Lessons:
P.S. I decided instead of dealing with the insurance thing myself to toss it back into the laps of the insurance companies - and they accepted the work. I've been told it will be dealt with and I don't have to do anything else. (phew!)
Today, I did two things different from usual. First, I spoke honestly with my brother about our lives then I sent my book to one of my best friends to read.
Both of these people have terrified me at different points in my life. They have strong opinions and share them readily. For someone like me who craves praise constantly, deep conversations with these two can scare the shit out of me.
My brother and I talked for an hour online earlier today. My sister and I talk all the time. Talking is a perfect way to avoid doing. My brother doesn't talk. He just acts. He's learning to talk and I'm learning to act.
When he does talk, I have to work at listening. I've blogged before about my often antagonistic relationship with him. I easily slip into hearing only negativity in everything he says. But when I put aside my ego and my childhood need for approval from him (and therefore resentment towards him), I realize he has valuable things to say. Thank you for our conversation Rob. I like connecting with you.
Following this conversation, I sent my friend my book to look at. This was scarier than talking with my brother. It was also harder to do than it will be to send it out to agents. Agents are expected to say no. I'm ready for that. Friends and family are expected to be supportive, which means it's difficult to know how honest they are being when they say they like something. This friend will be supportive, but she will also be honest, rigorously honest. In the past we've faced challenges because of our different natures, but now we appreciate these differences. Out of all my friends and family, I know this friend will give me the most professional opinion.
And that's what scares the crap out of me.
Someday Lessons:
A week into my current work site in Spain's Basque Country, another volunteer worker arrived. She stayed only three days then I drove her to a train station in France. She'd spent several months doing a tour of Spain, working her way around the coast. The Basque Country was her last stop in Spain. After here, she was heading home to Sweden. She had planned to stay here longer, but since she knew she was on her way home, she couldn't muster up her interest in being here.
I know how she felt. In three weeks, I leave to travel Eastern Europe with Cate. Four weeks later, I leave for Canada. I want the time between now and Eastern Europe to zoom past. I know it will (like a twenty year old in a modified Honda Civic) but certain moments seem to take their merry time, mocking my impatience.
I've decided to spend the remaining time in familiar surroundings. I leave here Thursday to go back to France (with a detour to Madrid with the DJ). For my last week before flying out of the Tarragona airport, I will return to my first work site in Alcover.
All that remains then is to get through the next two days without my impatience killing me.
Someday Lessons:
There once was a man who considered himself healthy. Like many city homeowners, he had a gym membership that he used once a week and felt superior about. His home included a garden which he weeded once a month, again feeling superior to his apartment dwelling friends who did not have this extra physical demand.
The man's job added to his pride of health. When he had clients, the work usually involved being active. And finally the man liked to walk, although he walked significantly less than he felt he should for optimum health.
He did think that he could lose some weight, but since almost everyone in his culture believed that about themselves, he never did anything about it. And he didn't really care what he ate because his genetically low cholesterol freed him from that worry (another superiority point).
Then the man gave it all up. He gave up the gym, the garden, the job and the car. He gave up his city, his culture and his country.
For a while the man's feelings of superiority only increased. In his new country, he ate better, he walked more, and he stressed less.
When the man realized he couldn't live this life forever, he looked for a way to extend his money. He decided to do farm work in exchange room and board. It wouldn't be too hard. After all, he was a very healthy man.
At his first placement, he learned that his ability to weed a garden was limited to about an hour and a half before pain kicked in. This shocked him. He was a gardener! At the end of each day, he would almost fall asleep in his dinner. After eating he would barely make it up to bed before sleeping straight through until morning (except for those nights when sore muscles woke him up at three a.m. demanding ibuprofen).
By the time he had reached his fourth placement, he was able to weed a garden for three and a half hours before his back gave out and his eyes demanded a chance to close for a rest.
He realized that he finally knew what being healthy meant and just how far away he had to go to achieve this new vision of health.
Someday Lessons:
After submitting to peer pressure, I finally joined Facebook. I resisted registering for the site because I already spend too much time online. Once I did give in, however, I reaped some immediate benefits.
I reconnected with some friends that I have spoken to in about twenty years. I've also made some new friends (through other friends). In other words, I have become addicted to this latest form of Internet-based procrastination.
This chat/time-waster/shared-photo service has even influenced my non-Internet life. A few days ago I explored the city of San Sebastian (near the French border). Wandering around I thought of a photo group created by one of my Sauveterre friends, called DOORS. This group exists for the sole purpose of sharing photographs of doors people have seen on their travels. (You must be a Facebook member to see the photos.)
As I snapped pics, I looked for different doors to photograph. I ended up viewing the city in a different way from how I usually look at cities. Instead of seeing streets hemmed in by buildings, I saw a series of passages with entrances into different worlds, each world defined by the door opening into it.
Someday Lessons:
P.S. If you are a Facebook member, stop by my profile (search for me under Alex Fayle) and say "hi!"
Recently, I wrote about my novel-editing procrastination. Janet Barclay, in a comment, told me something she does when she is blocked. Her comment sparked a realization as to why I was stalling, and got me started again. (Thank you, Janet!)
While procrastinating, I wasn't totally unproductive. I did write the query letter I will eventually send out to agents as I begin my publication quest.
Since beginning the novel, I've talked about the writing process, but I've never mentioned the storyline. Because I'm an organizer and like to make things multifunctional (see fellow organizer Jacki Hollywood Brown's comment about coffee tables), I thought I'd add a piece of that letter here. I also hope the excerpt teases you enough into wanting to read the book, which will send vibes to some agent out there who will agree to represent me.
Enjoy!
Some curses turn men into frogs, others make teenage girls sleep for a hundred years. Not so for thirty-five year old Gail McCain. Gail's curse just makes her boring: no man, no kids, no social life boring. Then she meets her fairy life coach (godmothers are so last millennium) who promises to find Gail a life.
This means throwing Gail into the world of celebrity gossip and blogs, where she develops a fanbase who love her way of bringing the boring to Hollywood. With her fairy coach's help, Gail's blogging turns her into a media star. The curse doesn't stand a chance against all the attention she receives as a result. Gail, however, finds that a non-boring life might be too much to handle. But she can't just fire her fairy life coach, or she just might end up a frog after all.
In The Boring Blog, a paranormal ChickLit novel told in blog format, Gail tries to break her curse, get a life, and fall in love, all while describing it daily online for the world to read (and comment on).
Someday Lessons:
Three days at my new place and I burn the homeowner's favourite paella pan. He said not to worry, that he could tell I was someone who paid attention and meant well. I'd just chosen the wrong pan to make the potato tortilla (a potato omelette not a flatbread made from potatoes).
He's a little upset that the pan might be ruined. I'm more upset.
I didn't want to disturb him when I decided to start lunch. I wanted to show him that I could help out. Most importantly though, I didn't want to need help.
I'm in my late 30s and still feel like a kid, needing permission to do things. "I can do it. I don't need you," I say to the world at large. Is there an age when I'll stop saying that? At some point I hope I will stop needing to prove myself.
It all comes back to pride. If I stop thinking about my ego, I'll remember to ask for help.
Someday Lessons:
I've not worked on my novel recently. And I've not worked on another non-fiction writing project. And I have a great rationalization as to why not.
You see, I live right now with an English couple, which means that we speak English in the house and I don't learn Spanish. Therefore, if I want to learn Spanish, I have to leave the house and interact with local Spanish people. In the last week I've done coffee & dinner, dinner, coffee, and drinks & dinner. I ended the week at the beach Saturday and Sunday. Seven days in a row of practicing Spanish means I can speak it much better. I still can't understand much, however.
I tell myself that I'll focus on my writing next month at my next placement. The man at the next place speaks only French and Spanish. I won't need to leave the house to learn the language. I can stay home and talk to him. I can also get back to writing and editing.
But I kid myself. I don't write because after reading agent and editor blogs, I have decided that no one will want to publish me, so why bother.
Did you catch that? Yes, another rationalization.
Honestly, I don't write because I procrastinate too much. I don't push myself and I give up too quickly. But I don't worry. I will finish the book and I will get back to the other writing project.
I just need to kick myself in the butt and do it.
Someday Lessons:
The Internet is great fun for wasting time- I mean learning about oneself.
I like taking personality tests. They fill time without having to really think. They appeal to my vanity. And I get to say the time I spend on them helps me understand myself better.
But really they just fun.
One I took today had the following to say about me:
Stability results were moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.
Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun.
Extraversion results were high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.
The last one intrigues me because I would say that I can be quite reserved and love to spend lots of time alone. Of course anyone who knows me well will be saying: "Overly talkitive? Yes!" I think my reserve is something I've developed, especially with my exploration of loneliness and what it means to have to rely only on myself.
The results go on to say:
trait snapshot:
social, outgoing, worry free, optimistic, upbeat, tough, likes large parties, makes friends easily, rarely irritated, open, enjoys leadership, trusting, dominant, thrill seeker, strong, does not like to be alone, assertive, mind over heart, confident, controlling, feels desirable, likes the spotlight, loves food, social chameleon, hard working, concerned about others
I can't argue with any of those descriptors. Even the mind over heart one. I like to think I'm a highly sensitive person, but that's just superficial. At my core, I'm a hard-ass pragmatist and can be quite coldly logical.
The "does not like to be alone" feels also wrong because I love to be alone, but again, I think it's a love that I've developed. When I am alone and I'm offered an opportunity to go out with people I like - BAM! I'm gone. Other people are just so fascinating!
If you are interested in taking this quiz, go to The Similar Minds' Global Advance Personality Test.
Someday Lessons:
Janet Barclay challenged me to show you something: my time management system. Hers is a combination of Outlook's calendar and a erasable wall calendar. Mine's a little simpler. It's a list of dates of when I'm going where. For example, June 1st I'm traveling up to Basque Country. July 18th I'm flying to Frankfurt.
I no longer care about bre
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