Someday Syndrome

No Time At All

In a world without time I will count experiences not minutes.
In a world without time a clock is a tool to coordinate with others.
In a world without time the moments with the Rompot will be enough.
In a world without time actions will take as long as they need to.
In a world without time I will never feel rushed or bored.
In a world without time a clock won't control me.

Someday Lessons:

• Time is a tool to be used, not that something that controls you.
• Don't measure your day in hours; measure it in events.

Animated Alex

Occasionally we need to take the time to have some silly fun...

Here is me as an animation (courtesy Meez.com):

An Internal Conversation

Procrastinating Alex asks:

So what the hell does it mean to be a professional writer?

Sarcastic Alex replies with:

Oh, I don't know. How about writing for more than half-an-hour a day? Or writing things for submission to contests and publications?

Procrastinating Alex brushes aside any seriousness:

Okay, I gets it. I gots to write more. And I gots to gets myself known.

Enthusiastic Alex declares (enthusiastically of course):

Time to turn words into actions! Time to write!!!

Procrastinating Alex gets the last word in:

I'll start tomorrow. I promise!

Someday Lesson:

• Dreams and decisions mean nothing if you don't make time for them in your schedule.

Fritter, Fritter

Yesterday I got nothing done, really.

That's fine for me, I don't have to do anything; I'm on an extremely long vacation. But for most people, a day of puttering about with nothing achieved isn't a good thing.

And why didn't I get anything done? Because I wasn't focused, had no concentration. My brain kept sliding off whatever I tried to focus on, like two positively charged magnets.

No doubt about it, everyone has those days. In one way I'm lucky that it doesn't matter when I have a frittery day, but in another way, unproductive days like that leave me feeling lethargic and unsatisfied.

So today I'm going to do some planning that will get my mind focused back on my more usually productive days (writing, cooking, exploring).

Someday Lessons:

• Everyone has unproductive days - accept them with grace when they hit you.
• Don't get discouraged by unfocused days - your mind likely needed the rest.

Lunch Today:
Leftover quiche - made with a chestnut flour crust which didn't quite work out - when I get the proportions right, I'll post the recipe.

A Plethora of Should

My new Parisian friend (and future travel companion) asked me how my life in France differs from the one in Canada. My answer was "Here I'm free." He then asked me for a definition of freedom (not just a direct English/French translation, but a description of what freedom means to me).

My initial reaction was "I can do exactly what I want here."

Which strictly speaking isn't really true because I have budget constraints, but I meant: I don't have to do anything because I have to. My freedom is about being able to discover how I want to spend me time. It's about creating a new future five times a day and yet, it's also about not worrying about the future.

But most of all, it's about waking up each day not thinking "Ugh."

Funny thing is there are still so many shoulds floating around my head:

• I should spend more time each day writing.
• I should figure out whether I want to stay here or not.
• I should enter writing contests.
• I should clean the apartment (it keeps insisting on getting dirty – isn't once enough?).
• I should, I should, I should.

I'm resisting doing any of those things because of the shoulds attached. Some part of me feels that if I can get rid of a should, then I'll do the action with joy. But that's a silly notion. Because as soon as I start to do the action, I'll remember the previously attached should and then I'll not want to do the action any more. Which is an even sillier notion.

I'm amazed at the power of words. Six letters have such negative control in my life, a control that is entirely self-imposed. Being sick sometimes is the best way to let go of that control. For the past four days as my sinus drained, refilled and throbbed, I spent most of the day on the sofa, catching up on TV shows. It was so much fun but I knew I was feeling better when the guilt kicked in late this morning.

So, now off for a short walk to rebuild some of my lost energy.

Someday Lessons:

• We wrap ourselves so well in words that we can rarely see clearly through to our deepest desires.
• You don't have to know that being free means to you; you'll recognize it when you experience it.

Lunch Today:
Turkey Biryani

A Roundabout Way Home

My trip into Salies with my Toronto/England friend didn't go quite as we planned. Funny how nothing in France goes quite as I've planned. You think there's some lesson I'm supposed to learn from that?

The ride into town was good, despite sitting at the front of a bus full of teenagers on their way home from school. Once in Salies, we had a lovely time exploring the medieval city and the thermal baths.

At dinner time (6:15pm), we learned that our stomachs were too early. Dinner service didn't start until 7:30. French stomachs feel empty later, I guess. Since we had to catch our bus home at 8:40, we decided against dinner, having a couple of beers instead. We ended up talking to a local family at the table beside us (yet more proof that the French are really nice).

At 8:20, we said our goodbyes and wandered back to the bus stop. By 9:10, we realized the bus wasn't coming. Taxi time! A nearby taxi office displayed its phone number on the sign. I called the number but was told that the taxi driver did not work Friday nights.

We tried the tourist office thinking that it might have taxi numbers displayed, but no such luck. At a bar across the street, the bartender called a taxi for us, but the driver was taking people to Pau and the earliest cab we could get would be 10:30 but it might be as late as 11:00pm.

"Okay," I told my friend, "let me call my cousin and get the number for the Sauveterre taxi." Number found, called and dismissed – they too didn't work Friday nights.

At this point we had three choices:

1. Wait for the Salies taxi (with no guarantee of arrival)
2. Hitchhike (always slightly dangerous)
3. Get a room in Salies (and go home in the morning).

Option three was out because we had a reservation to go rafting the next day. We decided on option two, but then realized half-way out to the road between Salies and Sauveterre that neither of us had hitchhiked in France; we didn't know how people did it, whether anyone hitchhiked and if it was even legal.

So, we stopped and talked it out.

• What was our purpose? To get home that night.
• Would hitchhiking do it? Not certain and we didn't like the idea of a three hour walk home.

That left the waiting for the taxi option. On the plus side, while waiting, we could have another beer (after all it was Friday night).

We didn't much like the atmosphere of the bar near the tourist office (it was a bit sketchy), so we went back to the first one. The friendly family was still there and wanted to know why we were still in Salies. We explained the situation and asked if they knew the number for the taxi to confirm a 10:30 or 11:00 ride home.

One of the men at the table said "Sit! Have a drink – we're going that way in about two hours. We'll take you." Then another said "No, I'll take you now. It's less than 10 minutes either way."

After the requisite number of refusals to ensure his sincerity, we said yes and added about a hundred thank yous. We got our ride home and saved the taxi fare. All in all a great outcome!

Someday Lessons:

1. When time is limited, figure out your number one priority and use that as a benchmark for decision making.
2. If you are clear on your purpose for a chunk of time, the unexpected but good often happens.

Lunch Today:
A SWELLunch (South West European Late Lunch) – Magret de Canard, Ratatouille and Gateau Basque.