Someday Syndrome

It Comes Naturally

It's rainy and cold here and plans on being rainy and cold for the entire duration of my parents' visit.

So today we decided to spend the next two and a half days in Spain. My parents have never been there and even if it's raining on the Mediterranean, at least it will be warmer.

Of course this means that I get to see my Rompot again which is a nice little surprise.

Those of you who ascribe to the Law of Attraction are probably peeing yourselves with validation right now.

Have a good few days and I'll "see" you at the end of the week.

A Life Created

My writing affects my mood. Two weeks ago I broke up my main character from her boyfriend. I knew since starting the book that I was going to do this, and yet when I actually came to writing it, I had tears in my eyes.

Then last week I continued to tear apart her life and I felt that my own life was falling apart. I felt sad and found myself reacting a bit neurotically to things.

Tomorrow I leave for two weeks in Spain where I'll be pruning olive and almond trees on an organic farm. Today I made the main character of my novel do something truly spontaneous for the first time in her life. Before writing these scenes, I was feeling nervous about the next two weeks. After writing them, I felt enthused and as excited as my main character.

And it's not just writers that have the skill of creating a life and making it real. Anyone can. You can.

Coaches and motivational speakers talk about this all the time – creating a vision. If you can imagine the life you want, getting it will easy. Of course, as my experiences with my book's main character show, if you focus on negative images, negative emotions come up which produce unhealthy reactions.

Your life might be good, but if you focus on the little bits of negativity, your whole like suffers. Focus on the positive things and your whole life shines.

Someday Lessons:

• Before creating it in reality, you have to create the life you want in your mind.
• Even a little bit of negativity can discolour a whole lot of good feelings.

Happy Yet?

Really, it all comes down to happiness.

I’ve been reading Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project and I’ve realized that it’s all about happiness.

Happiness is the cure for Someday Syndrome: answer the question ‘What will make me happy ?’ then acting on it.

Happiness isn’t masturbatory feel-good gratification. Happiness is a deep satisfaction with life and a strong sense of self-worth. (Anyone else remember the 1970s Happiness Is… series of products? A little naked man and woman?)

Choosing to be happy is actually quite terrifying. Imagine leading a satisfied life. I mean really deeply satisfied. Pretty scary, eh? I’ve never been more afraid in my life than I am right now. I am pursuing happiness and it scares the crap out of me. Why? Because having exactly what you want takes guts to declare and even more to achieve.

Every time you say ‘Someday’ you delay happiness. You also deny happiness. I’m amazed at the number of people (myself included) who know what will make them happy and yet refuse to pursue it.

I was surfing the web and came across my biography for a writing group I used to belong to back in the mid-90s. My first line was :

Alex refuses to suffer for his art, so has to fit it in around work and social life.

Ten years later, I finally acknowledged that the suffering lay in NOT pursuing my art.

I’ve known that I’ve wanted to be a writer for 25 years. That’s a lot of unhappiness, self-imposed. How long have you been denying your own happiness ?

Well stop it. Right now.

Pursue happiness.

Someday Lessons:

• Happiness is terrifying.
• Don’t hide from happiness; embrace it.

Sick? So What?

Three times I've attempted this entry, but haven't liked it (although one of those times it was an airport computer that didn't like it and deleted it for me). The posting was quite a (witty) diatribe about my continued travel woes: a damaged plane, a sinus infection, a cold sore and another damaged plane.

But it doesn't matter. It might have made an interesting piece of writing, but as an entry for the Someday Syndrome blog, it would have just been me whining.

Despite feeling cranky, I had a good time with my parents. I accomplished everything I had wanted to do on the trip, and I acquired an invite to visit Syria, Jordan and Lebanon later this month.

What were my goals for this trip?

• Discover a bit of Paris – check
• Visit with my parents – check
• Learn more about my roots – check
• Buy some English-language novels – check
• Buy a few linen tea towels – check

(The last one I only accomplished at the last possible moment – the duty free at the Shannon airport – but I did get it done!)

It would have been very easy to sulk about my plane-induced sinus infection (which I did a bit), but I didn't let it stop me from enjoying myself (mostly). Prior to leaving I had decided what I wanted and pursued it despite the setbacks. Of course it helped having my Mom in Ireland and a friendly face in Paris (yes, I did do dinner with the good-energy-boy from last week).

Speaking of whom, he is the source of the invite to the Middle East. I've never been, have always wanted to go and the company will be enjoyable (plus by traveling there with a local, it will be much safer). One of the things I enjoy most about my life here is my openness to adventure. In Toronto I'd never accept an invite to travel with someone I'd only met twice, but I've always noticed people connect more quickly when traveling. Plus I like the sense of risk this trip implies… minimal as that is.

Someday Lessons:

1. Push forward beyond obstacles to accomplish your preset goals.
2. Detours or setbacks might actually be shortcuts or necessary side trips, giving you a better advantage in the long run.

Lunch Today:
Well, I've had some interesting meals that I haven't really been able to taste. A lot of sandwiches and fresh fish & chips, but last night I ordered pizza from the other pizza truck that visits town periodically – I threw in a picture for your enjoyment.

The Universe Within

Today's theme has to be the most difficult one to write on yet, not because I have nothing to write about, but because I have too much (sort of like the space problem I was discussing a few days ago). The theme is "Embrace Life in the Now."

That's all I do. How can I summarize my everyday actions and lifestyle into a single blog entry? It's like squishing the whole universe into a vitamin gel capsule.

Wait a minute, the universe does exist inside a gel capsule. The universe is in everything and everything is in the universe. Which describes my feelings behind being able to appreciate life even when it sucks. The universe exists in me just as much as I exist in the universe. What that means is I create my universe; what I say happens. I am the creator of my life and can choose to make it positive or negative.

Whoah! That's getting way to deep for a sweltering hot summer day (it's 35 degrees here in Sauveterre and my brain seems to be malfunctioning).

Let's see if I can make this more practical sounding.

Because each of us lives inside the cage of our perceptions, then those perceptions create our reality. Perceptions aren't just the physical stimuli we receive, but our emotional responses to and interpretations of those stimuli. Therefore, since my perceptions create my reality, if those perceptions are negative (like poor Eyeore), then my reality is negative.

If on the other hand, my perceptions are overly positive (like Tigger to keep with the Hundred Acre Wood analogy), then practical living becomes difficult. The trick to embracing life in the now is to find something good in every situation but to keep your feet firmly planted on the ground (well, some bouncing is okay).

When I surfing about other blogs the other day, I came across this list of ways to life a balanced life. It's a very good jumping off point for getting rid of the "somedays" in your life. Visit Allen Galbraith's 10 tips on leading a balanced life.

Someday Lessons:

• Perception is reality; how you perceive life creates that life.
• Living without "somedays" means walking a line between optimism and practicality

Lunch Today:

Boudin Potato Cakes (Boudin is a kind of spiced pork like corned beef)