Someday Syndrome

Essential Things Do Not Exist

As I approach giving up my apartment, I realize that nothing I own is essential. Everything is based on choices I make.

The first choice I make every day is to keep living. If I didn't plan on living then nothing I owned would be necessary. So the choice I have to make is if I want to live.

The answer is a resounding yes, so then I must make choices about eating the living because food and shelter are the basic requirements to life. Working for room and board covers those two without actually having to own anything.

Great! What next?

Do I want to rely on others or public transit to get around? No, then I need to keep my car (good thing since I just bought it!). But it's not essential; it's just easier. I could get around without a car, but it would take longer and expect a lot from others.

Are you beginning to get the picture?

Even when others depend on you, you are making a choice to support them. Have kids? You want to keep them? Then there are certain things you need to own to support having kids. But those things aren't essential.

We make things necessary by our choices, but nothing is inherently essential. Things become necessary only as we shape our lives.

Someday Lessons:

• Everything we own, we own because of a choice we made.
• Clutter happens when we collect things due to unconscious choices.

My Computer is a Mess

And it wastes my time.

I have programs I've used once, emails dating back four years and files that I don't remember. Of course all this bloating has slowed down my computer.

I need to clean it, which means first getting rid of everything I don't need. But how to decide? For example, my copy of Final Draft scriptwriting software. I don't think I'm going to write scripts anymore, but since I don't know what the future holds, I might just end up writing new scripts.

And then there are the old emails. I obviously need my financial emails, but what about the ones relating to my volunteering? I have gone back to find information in these old emails, especially for Professional Organizers in Canada where I am now the senior Board member. But do I need to keep these emails on my computer or can I archive them on a disk?

I need to decide for what activities I use my computer and then determine what programs and files match these activities. Then archive or trash the rest.

After that I'll find a good disk utility program (I'm thinking TuneUp) and clean up the computer. Once that's done, the computer should be back up to its old performance levels.

Someday Lessons:

• Computer storage might be virtual but the space can get cluttered and become a real time waster.
• A computer is like a room – you need to determine purpose to figure out what to keep and what to trash.

A Someday Foodie

I tried, really I did. But I couldn't help it.

I bought things today. Yummy things.

This morning I was up at 5:30 to go to the Anglet market with a friend who sells hand made soaps there. I wasn't going to buy anything.

But of course I did.

It was all consumable though. A coffee, croissant, mini-quiche and courgette/chevre muffin, all eaten on site. And some gram flour, kamut spaghetti, and Indian chicken and vegetable things (in Canada I'd call them a pakora, but in France they call them donuts) for home.

I'm a sucker for good food. If I had more money, I so could have bought lots of neat stuff.

You see, I'm a someday foodie. I love fancy foods, and I'd be willing to call myself a gourmand, but I just don't have the money for it. Already a good chunk of my monthly budget goes towards food, but if I were rich, I could spend LOADS more on the fancy stuff.

And then there's the sharing part. I miss cooking for someone else. I don't do that. I cook for me. And that gets boring. And my place (even with the table) isn't set up for entertaining.

Oh hey! Yet another reason why I should become nomadic. I can offer to cook for my hosts as part of my room & board pay and really learn a lot more about Spanish and French (and Italian?) cooking.

Someday Lessons:

• You don't have to spend lots of money to have a passion for something.
• Look for ways to combine interests to heighten both experiences.

The Love of Shopping

Whenever I'm in Pau, I spend money. But at least today it was all stuff I needed (mostly). I've done a pictorial review of my day from train-ride to train-ride so you can see what a typical day in Pau looks like. The only sad part about this review is that my basic digital camera cannot capture the beautiful view from the Boulevard de Pyrénées.

Isn't it funny how I say I don't need anything in other posts, but then go on a shopping spree every time I hit Pau?

This month I'm tracking every penny I spend so that come the new year, I'll have an idea as to how much I'll need to earn if I want to stay here longer. It was tempted to exclude large purchases, like train tickets and a food processor. But there are going to always be unexpected purchases each month – I need to plan for that.

I started this post saying that I need everything I bought but if I look carefully only a few things are truly essential:

• Train ticket – essential: if you're going to travel, you have pay for it (car, train tickets, etc…)
• Coffee – non-essential: but I had to sit somewhere to wait until shops opened.
• Haircut – non-essential: but wow! so awesome!
• Hair product – non-essential: but if I'm changing my style, I need to maintain it well
• Underwear – non-essential: but the old ones are beginning to get a bit ratty
• Sandwich – non-essential: but it was two hours to lunch and I was so hungry
• DVD-RWs – essential: my computer so needs to be backed up
• Writing books – essential: writing is why I'm here
• Sunglasses – essential: I was getting headaches
• Lunch – non-essential: but a body's gotta eat…

Someday Lessons:

• Don't fool yourself, few things are truly essential; the rest are simply justified.
• It's very easy for many people to spend money

Lunch Today:
A Galette in Pau

Rationalizing Toys

Just a short post today.

I spent a large portion of the day fighting with a camcorder and my computer. They weren't talking to each other and I was mediating. Eventually figured out that at some point the computer said something to the camcorder while the camcorder was talking and now it is completely unable to talk to the computer (in other words, the camcorder's downloading feature is fried).

The upside of this? I can now rationalize going out and buying a MiniDV Camcorder, something I've always wanted but could never justify.

Toys, toys, toys - woo hoo!

This now means that I'll be starting to post little mini videos along with entries (to illustrate a point, or just show off how beautiful it is here!).

Someday Lessons:

1. We can always find a reason for buying something, convincing ourselves that it's essential. Don't stop yourself from buying it, but be aware of the real reasons.
2. Sometimes you just need to say "the hell with it" and buy something even if it's not essential.

Lunch Today:
Rice Bolognaise (recipe to come later).

People Are Essential Too

I’m posting an extra blog entry today because I really want to talk about the people in my life. If I had been completely alone after last night’s experience (see previous post) I would have been utterly lost.

First off, I’d like to thank my newly discovered cousins. They not only welcomed their fourth cousin into their home while I got set up, but they’ve acted as translators, chauffeurs, on the ground support and really good new friends.

Next my friends at home. Having people to call and listen to me break down was a necessity. One friend’s reaction was “well you went to France for an adventure and that certainly was an adventure, if a bit expensive.” Another friend’s comment was “come home immediately so that I can take care of you.” And that shows you the good in having friends who are 24 and 38 respectively!

And of course family. A conversation with my sister-in-law brought me back from the edge of panic reminding me that Europeans don’t sue the way North Americans do. And my father reinforced my own thoughts that everything will work out for the best and it will focus me on staying in town and writing instead of gadding about the south of France.

Second to life, above health and way above stuff, good people in one’s life is definitely an essential thing. I’m so lucky I have such a strong support network of kindred spirits.

Thank you everyone!

An Expensive Lesson

Last night I was given an extreme reminder of what is essential.

Up until then, things had been going very well – just like I was meant to be here or something. I found an apartment (click the link for pics) my first day in Sauveterre de Béarn. I purchased appliances (French apartments don’t come with appliances), teeny tiny cute European “white goods”, and bought furniture including an awesome sofa that had to come up through the window because it was longer than my ceiling is high. Last week there was even a traveling “vide greniers” (flea market) where I bought some antique furniture plus dishes, cutlery and glasses.

I had a few difficulties arranging electricity but dealing with the electric company gave me a chance to really practice my French.

At that point I took stock of what I had and what else was essential for my apartment. And of course being an organizer, I made up a list for myself. I am amazed at how many essential things are kitchen related.

When I pictured myself in living in France, that picture included booting around the place on a scooter, but people here told me that it rains too much in the winter to make a scooter practical. Then a week after arriving, I saw a car parked with a for sale sign on it. A 1993 Ford Escort wagon for only 800 euros. Perfect! All it needed was a new exhaust pipe. No problem. So I bought it Friday.

Congratulating myself on everything going so smoothly, I put in an application for insurance then asked the former owner if it was safe for me to drive the car at this point, meaning did his insurance still cover the car? He said yes, I could take the car anytime. I seriously think there was a misunderstanding based on translation issues and my bad French.

Impatient to explore the area and experience a little bit of French nightlife, I decided to drive to Pau to check out the local gay bar.

Bad idea.

I loved the drive into town (very fun curvy driving with lots of gear shifting), but then I got into Pau, a very confusing medieval city poorly adapted (at least from my Canadian perspective) to the modern car. I quickly got lost, couldn’t really tell where stoplights were, what direction the traffic was going nor which way I should go.

Just go home Alex.

But no, I stayed and made the mistake of looking left for a street sign while driving straight, missing the red light on the right corner (about 10 inches wide and 2 feet high). I ended up going into the left front corner of a car turning off the side street.

Merde.

When the police arrived (actually they were right there catching drunk drivers), they asked for my insurance. I explained the situation and they let me know that from the moment I had purchased the car, I needed my own insurance before driving it.

Double merde.

The first accident in my life involving other people and it’s in France with no insurance.

So I focused on the fact that I wasn’t hurt and neither were the people in the other car. My car, however, was done for with a most likely broken axle. Fortunately the other people could still drive their car (just a headlight broken and damage to the bumper – I’m hoping!).

Given that it’s Sunday, I don’t know what will happen other than that I need to pay for their repairs. I’ll find out first thing tomorrow morning.

On my way into Pau, I had seen a sign advertising flights to Amsterdam for 30 euros. My trip to Pau cost me:

• 800 euros for the car
• 50 euros for gas
• 100 euros for the tow truck
• 120 euros for the taxi ride home
• 125 euros in fines
• who knows how much in repairs
• and a car fit only for the compactor.

But everyone was all right. No one was hurt and that’s the only thing that really matters.

Lessons Learned:

1. Stuff doesn’t matter. Life and health are truly the only essentials things.
2. Patience is not just a virtue but a necessity. If I had just waited until I had my insurance all lined up, everything would be fine right now.
3. Don’t rely on others for important information. Check things out for myself (especially when dealing with a foreign country and language).

There were very expensive lessons, but ones I doubt I will EVER forget.

Lunch today:
(Taking a cue from Jane Espenson’s awesome blog on scriptwriting, I’m adding a food tag to the bottom of each posting)

Canned Daube: Beef stew with no preservatives, comfort food extraordinaire (especially with extra red wine and chunks of polenta).