Someday Syndrome

Streamlining My Stuff

I've begun to pare down my stuff and have gotten rid of a few things. I'm also thinking of getting rid of more. Here is my updated list:

1. All my clothes and towels (I've actually added to them)
2. All my toiletries and medications (I so need to go through this and get rid of stuff)
3. All my technology bits and bobs (nothing changes here)
4. The books I brought with me and my writing stuff (I'm tempted to thin this, but am not sure)
5. My tent (it's small enough to keep)
6. An outdoor collapsible chair (this will likely go - the only question is where - maybe my next work site)
7. My rolled up white board (I haven't used it but I want to keep it)
8. My duvet, comforter, pillows and things to cover them (I'm keeping the comforter and one pillow, but giving the rest to the former Rompot)
9. A small box of kitchen stuff and my kitchen knives (I'm going to keep the knives and give away the rest, except for enough to eat take out without asking for a plastic knife and fork.)
10. My iron (this stayed at my last work site)

So, the things left in my car are:

1. All my clothes and towels
2. Only necessary/used toiletries and medications
3. My technology bits and bobs
4. The books I brought with me and my writing stuff
5. My tent
6. My rolled up white board
7. My comforter and a pillow.
8. A fancy knife set and one set of cutlery.

I look forward to thinning it more.

Someday Lessons:

• Streamlining what you own isn't a one-time activity. You need to do it at least once a year.
• As you practice living in the now, more "someday" objects will become less relevant to you.

Shopping for the Future

The only thing I have to say about physical stuff today is that I didn't buy more four-Euro long sleeve t-shirts from Zara. I am spending the summer in southern Spain after all – but the real reason I didn't go buy them is that my luggage couldn't fit anything else in it!

So, instead I'm going to talk about the date I was on today. I had an awesome time wandering around Barcelona with someone I've been talking to online for a while (by the way – what is it about me and Spanish men?).

But this isn't about the man, as handsome and as fun as he is. It's about me and my needs. Just before I left for the date, I was chatting with my sister online and she reminded me not to marry the guy right away.

My habit used to be to build up expectations and live in the future, creating a perfect life together before I'd even been on the first date. Then that need for a future would show through on the date and that wouldn't be good.

So today, I stayed in the now. Tomorrow my date is showing friends around Barcelona and has invited me along. That's all that I need to think about. I'm quite happy with having another nice day with him. No future wedding needed.

A part of this new attitude is because of my chosen lifestyle – traveling a lot is not conducive to serious dating. But I'd like to think that the real reason I'm not being my usual future-living self is that I've relaxed a whole lot since arriving in Europe. I no longer need the constant validation from creating the future.

Since I'm not that attached to things, I've always attached myself to people, especially new people. I shopped unthinkingly for the future the way others shop for unnecessary things.

So what does all this rambling mean? If you find yourself shopping (for things, the future, praise) without actually really paying attention, then it's time to do some self-reflection and figure out what else is missing. In my case it was staying in the moment and enjoying it for itself.

What's yours?

Someday Lessons:

• Addictions come in many forms – sometimes it's things, sometimes it's drugs or alcohol and sometimes it's behaviours.
• It's very easy to fill life with things you don't need.

Ephemeral Travel

Cate's gone. So I'm going out tonight to do exactly what we did the entire trip. I'm going out for dinner.

I bought next to nothing and yet spent LOTS of money - all on food. But that's okay because good food is so worth the money spent, as is good wine and good cava (love cava - Spanish sparkling wine).

That's it for today - I'll be back to regular postings on Tuesday.

See you all then.

Someday Lessons:

• You don't need to spend money on things - ephermeral experiences like good food and travel create much less clutter.
• When you don't need much, there's not much to say.

Edit: Okay I lied. I posted on Sunday and Monday too...

Riding the Pendulum

I've gone too far into this live-in-the-now thing, at least food-wise.

The vegetables at the local supermarket this time of year are scary: limp, sometimes rotten, and with a limited selection. This means that on Saturdays (Sauveterre's market day) I have to know what I want to eat for the rest of the week.

I can't just buy a whole bunch of things and figure out how to use them because I've never been a bit vegetable fan and have to be focused on eating them or they just go bad which is a waste. In Toronto, I had a spreadsheet for planning out every meal in the week. I would change things up afterwards, but I knew exactly how many of what type of vegetables I needed.

But since I started living in the now, I don't know what I'm eating for the next meal, let alone what I want to eat in six days.

So for now, I just go with the same vegetables (and fruit) each week – zucchini, avocado, tomatoes, oranges, peppers, and sometimes eggplant or leeks – and hope that I don't run out. But of course I do and so end up at the supermarket trying to decide which pepper isn't too wrinkled.

Maybe in another three months I'll find the right balance between live-now and plan-for-then.

Someday Lessons:

• Don't be extreme in anything (including your moderation)
• If you swing past a goal, know that you'll get another chance to grab it on the next swing-by.

Lunch Today:
Steak, baked potato and red onion & red peppers sautéed with goat's cheese.

Sooner or Later Need Comes to All

I'm drawing a blank on today's entry because I have everything I need. Well, except for my table, but I have a plan to go buy one when I return from my trip this week. (Trip, you ask? Yes, I'm taking the train to Bar le Duc, 2 hours east of Paris, to visit my energy-boy at his new job location for a couple of days).

There's nothing I need right now. There's stuff I want, like a Cuisinart, but nothing I need. It's very freeing to not need stuff, especially because over the past few years when money was so tight I was always needing things that I never bought (like professional clothes, new shoes, food, etc..)

Oh! I know something I need. It's not a thing, but a service. I need to have my teeth cleaned. It's been three and a half years since I've been to the dentist. I've forgotten what plaque-free teeth feel like.

I also need to get my tooth-alignment checked. As a kid (okay and as an adult too), I was always so smug about my teeth. My sister and my brother spent years with painful braces forcing the realignment of their teeth, but my teeth were perfectly straight. It was as if I was one up on them. They might have been older and could do more things than I could, but I didn't have to have braces.

Well, now I'm no longer so smug.

My teeth have decided it's time to express their desire for anarchy. Some days I can practically feel them shifting. For example, one of my bottom incisors has decided to go shy and is doing its best to hide behind two others. My mother had a tooth do that – she recently got it removed and the others filled in the gap very quickly. I'd like to keep all my teeth, so as soon as I can afford it, I'll look into getting braces (oh joy!).

Someday Lessons:

• Savour the moment when you need nothing – they come rarely.
• Don't be smug about not needing something – your turn will come.

Lunch Today:
Stuffed Zucchini and Chocolate Orange Mascarpone Mousse

I'm a Lucky Devil

Single, childless people are very lucky.

In our romance- and family-focused culture, single people tend to be pitied or eyed suspiciously for having some major character flaw. But organizationally, single childless people have it the easiest.

I only need to consider my own needs. No wondering what others want or need to eat (or when), no need to stock up on items that someone else might finish on me. I get to decide where things go and how they are used. And when the place is a mess, I don't feel resentful of others making it worse.

Food shopping is also very easy. I used to think that an empty fridge meant a person never cooked (as is often the case), but when I was coupled, so much of what we bought would end up going bad because we couldn't arrange our schedules or our palates to actually use the food we bought. Plus we bought without thinking or knowing when we'd actually eat the food. Now my fridge is empty because I buy my food daily and use it right away.

Talk about needing things only in the now!

One last note – single people are also really lucky because they are in complete control of the really important decisions in life – like how to squeeze the toothpaste tube!

Someday Lessons:

1. If you really want an easy, organized life, be single and have no children.
2. Go grocery shopping with intention – know when you're going to use an item so that it doesn't go bad or sit around for three years untouched.

Lunch Today:
Rice Carbonara