Someday Syndrome

My Cute Little House

You would take one look at the little stone row house I'm in and gasp: "It's so small!" But for me, it's perfect. The one room plus bathroom home is a little larger than the living room in my house back in Toronto (about 9'x15'), with the door on a short end and the bathroom attached to the opposite end.

Furniture-wise, a double bed sits in one corner with shelves above it for clothes. Beside the bed is a little wood stove for heat. A large table at the foot of the bed doubles as a kitchen work surface and beside that a large toaster oven with two stove elements tuck into the front corner. A hanging bar and more shelves on the opposite long wall complete the main room. My mini-fridge is in the bathroom and I wash my dishes in the bathroom sink.

I eat half my meals down here, the rest in the main house. I couldn't entertain in this space, but it's enough for my current entertaining-free needs.

The long walls are constructed of tinted concrete and exposed stone. A skylight and vaulted ceiling make the space look larger and less box-like.

I'm very comfortable here and could easily live in this space much longer than my planned three weeks.

Someday Lessons:

• Spatial needs are relative to where you are in your life.
• Don’t decide how much space you need just to impress others; pick a home sufficient to your actual needs.

Weaning Off the Book Habit

This is the third of five pre-written blog postings while I travel.

I used to have a problem with books. I'd buy lots of them and I wouldn't get rid of a single one, even if I didn't like it.

Then I renovated and decided on having just one bookcase in the house. Books were stacked three deep, which ruined the bookcase. It was a gorgeous built-in made by my Dad echoing ones we had in the house where I grew up. But it couldn't be seen for books.

It was time to get the books off my back.

I couldn't quit cold turkey. I weaned myself off slowly. Putting over half of them in airtight containers in the basement, I pulled them out six months later and reviewed my choices. Most I hadn't missed. Some I decided to read once more than pass along and some I decided to keep.

I also went through the books I'd kept and streamlined those for any I hadn't touched or thought about.

Then I called the Trinity College Booksale. I couldn't bring myself to take the books somewhere, but someone from the TCB was happy to pick them up.

If I had been willing to trade scarce wall and floor space for more shelving, I would have kept more, but my house was small and I didn't want to live in a used bookstore. Better that someone else enjoy them.

The final step in breaking the habit was a one book in, one book out policy, and I started frequenting the library a lot more.

It felt good to be free.

Someday Lessons:

• Decide on a limited storage space for your collections and stick to that limit. Don't give in to overcrowding.
• You can get rid of things in stages. It doesn't have to be all at once.

A Household Groove

A house is like a dance club.

Both have limited space. Both are constantly changing. And both work amazingly well when all things are in their place, both people and objects

Saturday night I was in a club that did not work. I enjoy dancing and when it doesn't work, I get really angry. How dare my dancing be ruined?!? Sometimes I consider culling the human herd. I get quite inventive with my methods.

Some clubs don't work because the bouncers let in too many people and there's no room for anyone to move. Other clubs don't work because not enough people go and it's very boring for those who do.

Then there's what happened to me Saturday night.

It was a good size crowd, but they had no sense of dance dynamics. Dance dynamics involve the subtle awareness club patrons have of those around them so that everyone can enjoy dancing without jostling into each other.

I've seen a crowd so in tune with the dance dynamics that everyone did their own version of interpretive dancing without touching each other. Of course, it was a bunch of goth teens and banging into someone could have resulted in a revoked aloof-coolness status.

But at this club in Pau, there were no hyper cool kids, just a lot of drunken 20-40somethings dancing to bad English and French 80s pop tunes (although they did play the new Scissor Sisters - twice!). I was banged into and hit by errant arms and heads so often that I'm surprised I'm not bruised from head to toe.

The difference between a dance club and a home (other than the all over blank paint and strobe lights – hopefully!) is that in a club when the dance dynamics are off, your only choice is to leave, but you can choose to fix a home with messed up stuff dynamics. Stuff dynamics are like dance dynamics but they deal with the effects things in a home have on each other and you.

So, stuff dynamics quiz. Do things flow and intermingle effortlessly? Or, are you battered and bruised by them? If you answer yes to question one: good stuff dynamics. And if you answer yes to question two, bad stuff dynamics.

Someday Lessons:

• Organization can happen without planning; just pay attention to interactions.
• Disorganization can cause almost physical pain.

Endorphin Heaven

Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't. – Elle Woods, Legally Blonde

That line (slightly garbled) kept going through my head today as I was out walking. I started off my walk thinking I'd do my usual ten to twelve kilometres but then I took off on the open road, pushing past the limits I'd set myself previously. I refused to be constricted by space. I was no overly domesticated dog stuck in its run going back and forth over the same ground!

No, I didn't do some quantum voyage thing. I just went father than I'd gone before. Today I walked a half-marathon – over 20km! I did this at the breakneck speed of 7.5km/hour.

Up and down hills, under a rain shower and through chilly sunshine, the endorphins were rushing and so was I. Several times I had to shout out a wordless "Argh!" from pure physical joy and pent up energy. This was better than sex! Forget chocolate!

My brain also sang snippets (the pieces I could remember) of Cole Porter's "Don't Fence Me In." I was free! I was –

Ohmygodmyhipshurtandmylegsaremovingontheirown!!!

With four kilometres to go I couldn't have stopped if I tried!

As I was winding down and thinking about the nice glass of wine waiting for me back at the apartment, I wondered what a walk like this would look like in Toronto. So, at home again, lying on the couch, I looked it up: it would be a round trip from the waterfront to Yonge and Lawrence (for those unfamiliar with Toronto, you can see it here), basically up through the centre of the city.

Since I also used to walk a lot as a teenager (in a roving clump of suburban semi-Goths), I thought I'd check it out in terms of my old home town – and discovered it would be like walking from my old house to Canada's Wonderland (again, see the map if you're interested). Okay, so I didn't walk a lot as a teenager, because that was one trip I'd NEVER have done.

Isn't it amazing how the same trip in three settings was so totally different? The France walk was liberating and boundary-pushing, the Toronto one a boring chore, something only to be done if the subways weren't running, and the suburban walk an impossibility.

EDIT: Oops forgot the map of the route I actually did do... The line is the walk home, the walk there was the road on the north side of the river.

Someday Lessons:

• Space expands or contracts depending on context.
• Don't let space limit you – push yourself out of your normal "dog run."

Lunch Today:
Goat's cheese melted on rye crackers under the broiler with fresh tomato slices, a bit of dill weed and some Baba Ghanouj.

Rembrances & New Lives

November First: All Saints Day, Day of the Dead and the Celtic New Year. For most North Americans, it's simply the day after Hallowe'en, a day for kids to gorge on candy (or be ill from too much candy the night before).

For years to me, it's been a time of beginning. Since before getting my Celtic Studies degree, the mystical Celts and the modern recreated magic of the Druids have interested me. Studying the mundane history of the actual Celts took away some of the shine, but November 1st has remained a new year of sorts for me. Not a time to make resolutions, but to slough off old dead things and be reborn.

The progression from one type of life to another.

Former clients recently emailed me announcing that they were expecting twins. Now there's a life progression! Going from childlessness to two kids at once – wow!

As families grow from two to three or more, adjustments can be made gradually. Actually, I'm sure the first baby is a shock to a couple's lifestyle. Suddenly a Martha-Stewart-perfect home isn't attainable any more. Little sleep, diapers and wet naps all over and toys cropping up everywhere work to destroy a minimalist life.

Subsequent children are likely less difficult an adjustment – the adult-only home has been invaded already. It's just a matter of tweaking existing systems for each additional child.

But with twins, organization is put to the ultimate test. The biggest issue of course is space. When kids come in sequence parents usually only have one of everything. With twins (or triplets or more!) you need at two (or more!) of everything. Good luck squeezing that into a starter home! (Of course, I've now probably terrified my expecting clients – "Oh no! Even the organizer thinks it's impossible!).

But they'll adjust and after a little while, they'll wonder how they ever lived without the twins. Our adaptability and our ability to cut out unnecessary memories: two of humanity's best assets.

As you remember the dead on this day (whatever you want to call it), give remembrance to your past selves. Each one of them adapted to change and you've survived it – hopefully without unnecessary stuff trailing after you.

Someday Lessons:

• When life throws a big change at you, use it as an opportunity to streamline things.
• Don't fear change; you've survived it before and will survive it again.

Lunch Today:
Bangers and mash and fried tomato slices (in honour of having spent the past week in Ireland).

Too Much Stuff

Most people tell me they are disorganized because they don't have enough space. No, I don't buy that. They just have too much stuff.

As a professional organizer, I'm normally gentle, non-judgmental and I don't point fingers. But today I'm pointing fingers (I slept funny and woke up with a painful kink in my shoulder and I'm feeling mean).

So, I'll say it again. Most people have too much stuff.

I'm including myself in this finger pointing. I'm my own worst client. When prepping my house for sale, I made at least three trips to the charity shop, had at least five large garbage bags and I gave a bunch of things to friends and family.

I'll never miss any of it.

If I keep going I'm likely to get meaner, so short and sweet will have to do.

Someday Lessons:

• You have too much stuff.
• Get rid of it.

Lunch Today:
Cheese and crackers (too cranky to make anything, but I have added the Tomato and Walnut Soup recipe from yesterday).